STEP ASIDE, SHIRLEY JACKSON

Things fall apart; the center cannot hold;

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.

Ah yes, once again, we embark on the frigate of the new semester, this magical time of discovery and rebirth and, of course, the sweet, sweet cursing of first-years lotteried out of Core classes. Yes, the upperclass students bask in the glow of their years until the unfortunate announcement of (dear God, must we go on) a random lottery.

Shall the culprit remain nameless? Nosirree--why, it's Professor Steven J. Gould and the class is Science B-16. He's decided to abandon the perfectly reasonable system of unfairness to a small minority and extend the privilege to the entire class.

A sour bravo to him.

A random lottery is bad. It's wrong, it skates

Perilously close to evil and most of all, it inconveniences

friends of Dartboard. It turns their carefully planned schedules into

jumbles of

carnage.

At this juncture everyone thinks, "So what?" Well, if you had such a friend as Dartboard has, you might not ask, "So what?" Harvard may not have taught us to be noble or scholarly or a patriotic, but it has taught us how to be disgruntled.