REAL WORLD TYPES

When we heard that MTV's "The Real World" wanted to recruit at Harvard for a Boston season, our minds began to whirl. Harvard students have many attributes, not least among them their ability to digress at length upon angst-ridden topics. Give them a camera, and hey, you might never get them to shut up.

Depending on the producers' preference, they could select any one of a number of Harvard "types" to live in the big house (in Back Bay, we're guessing):

1. The Obsessive. Yes, we're all obsessive, but some are more obsessive than others. We're talking about the person who will call a house meeting at the first sign of soap scum in the bathroom. The one you'll see at midnight organizing his files. The one who will put up a list of chores and end up doing them all herself. The one who will get kicked out of the house by the second week.

2. The Politician. Most players on "The Real World" don't seem to have much direction. Why else would you go live in a house for five months? Shouldn't you get a job or something? But seriously.... This type sees the "Real World" stint as simply one more step in the career ladder. National TV exposure! A chance to influence the running of a small community! What more could a budding young member of Congress hope for?

3. The Arrogant. It helps if this person is good-looking, too. No insecurity pierces this person's armor, not even when he or she knows that every other person in the house is trying to find every flaw. Until that one night, when he or she faces the camera, alone, in the dank basement, and confesses on national television that it has all been a masquerade, and "The Real World" has changed his or her life. This one is a real keeper.

Of course, there are dozens more types. The laid-back. The artsy. The nerd. The extracurricular king or queen. Come to think of it, the most interesting project of all might be to put seven Harvard people together in a house to find out what happens when they stop being polite and start being real. But there's one major flaw: Harvard people aren't polite to begin with. Let the auditions begin!