Snazzy Teas and Bow Ties

This weekend there will be yet another set of people roaming curiously through the great Harvard Yard. They won't be part of the normal flux of 500-people-per-group tourists whose pictures we have all walked through while they invent new posing positions with the John Harvard statue. Neither will they be part of the teenie-bopper Harvard Model Congress crowd whose biggest thrill is chilling at the T-stop. No, this weekend is Junior Parents Weekend. Hundreds of curious, concerned, but also proud parents have travelled long distances to take a picture with John Harvard, grab a cup of coffee at Au Bon Pain and see what Harvard is all about.

Harvard seems to have no intention of letting parents down who are already under the suspicion that their children lead a special privileged life here. They think we have no concerns or worries. Harvard appears to be an ideal world where so many people care about you that it is just like being at home with your parents. Surely they will not be disappointed in these couple of days, for the fooling process has already begun. Big events and snazzy teas are planned. And professors who hardly come out of their offices to greet students (they have more important things to do) are straightening their bow ties and reciting their speeches to their favorite people (themselves) in a mirror.

As far as I can tell, parents are truly concerned about the academic and the social lives of their children here at the University. This concern is quite understandable in cases where some parents live in California, Texas or even outside the country. However far away parents are from their children, they need to be assured that their kids are okay. And this assurance is Harvard's top priority this weekend. After all, the more convinced parents are that Harvard is okie-dokie after a few suicides and a really tired president, just to name a few of Harvard's more public ailments, the more money they will dish out in the collection can.

Although I have come to understand that fund-raising is an inherent Harvard quality which appears at almost every event, I have equally come to understand that it is one of the most disgusting aspects of this school. My concern here, however, is that parents won't really get to see what Harvard is all about. Harvard is more than just Widener Library and the John Harvard statue which has been urinated upon more times than any Harvard administrator would ever let our parents know). The Harvard we know as our daily reality may not get to be seen behind Jorge Dominguez's speech and the house masters' wonderful (and concerned, yes, always concerned) smile.

Will parents get to see that professors are not always willing to interact with their students? Will they get to see that elegant food in the dining hall just isn't an everyday thing, or even an every-month thing? Will they get to see that the masters emerge from their palaces only once in a while, when they need to impress parents, and that their purpose is still not clear to students? I don't think so.

My concern is that the fancy receptions being held for parents Friday afternoon, the elegant lunches in the dining hall on Saturday's agenda and the important speeches like the one from Jorge Dominiguez will present such a shortsighted, single perspective view of Harvard that is not the total reality. It is a perspective that will push parents to donate money and remain on the periphery of their children's education. It is a perspective that is certainly inconsistent with reality.

While these may be small inconsistencies, they nonetheless obstruct reality from our parents. Though I am uncertain how to solve these problems, I would hope that students are in constant contact with their parents to share moments that are not so pretty as those which will be painted this weekend, so that parents can get a full view of what happens at Harvard and can think long and hard, weighing more than a breath-taking speech from a professor and a really good croissant from the master's tea, before putting those bills in the collection can.

Nancy Reine Reyes' column appears on alternate Saturdays.