BOB DOLE, ADVERTISING STUD

Perhaps the only thing scarier than what our elected officials do is what our unelected officials do. Bob Dole, presidential candidate extraordinare, announced after the elections that for the first time in his life he has nothing to occupy his time. Well, apparently, that didn't last too long, because in the past week he's appeared not only in an Air France commercial but on "Saturday Night Live" as well.

What makes me quiver down to the soles of my feet, however, is what Bill Clinton is going to do with his life four years from now when his last term as President comes to an end. To this end, I'd like to offer some suggestions to our commander in chief should he choose to follow Dole onto the small screen.

1) Ross's roommate on the hit sitcom "Friends." We think Bill's endearing nature and inherent charm would help bring this show to new levels.

2) Anyone in a Burger King Commercial. 'Nuff said.

3) Himself on The Simpsons.

4) A character in the World Wrestling Federation. His special move would be "the waffle iron of death."