Reel-Time Skating: Great Stick Flicks

Ask the players on the Harvard men's hockey team what their favorite hockey movie is, and they'll mention a pair of horn-rimmed glasses.

That's the eyeglass frame of choice for the Hanson brothers in the movie "Slap Shot," a flick that the Crimson approves hands-down and thumbs-up for its combination of violence, humor and a realistic look into the mentality of hockey players.

The basic plot of the '70s flick goes like so: Paul Newman takes over as the player-coach of a struggling minor league hockey team, the Charleston Chiefs. He brings in the Hanson brothers, a trio of dorky-looking thugs, and presto! They're a fan favorite.

Harvard players enjoy the movie for its snappy one-liners and violent scenes.

"I love it when [the Hansons] get off the bus with the team for the first time," said junior Ethan Philpott when asked about his favorite scene. "They look like a bunch of morons, and they bash that vending machine and everything."

Junior Henry Higdon, mean-while, enjoyed the scene in which the Chiefs put aluminum foil in their pads for that extra edge, while sophomore Clayton Rodgers goes for the time when Newman knocks the team bus with a sledgehammer to make it look "mean."

Not quite as high on the barometer is "Youngblood," a rather poorly-done movie about a Canada farm boy (played by Rob Lowe) who sets off to try out for a junior hockey team. Most of what he learns has to do with beating up opposing players.

Which is fine, but this movie tries to be serious about it, saying that Lowe discovers himself by thumping Thunder Bay's chief goon. It works about as well as a Lit & Arts class would about the WWF.

"They try to make it serious, but it's not," sophomore Craig Adams said. "At least 'Slap Shot' doesn't try to be serious."

Put it this way: The trailer says, "To Youngblood, winning wasn't everything--proving himself was." And Patrick Swayze co-stars. Whatever.

(As a side note, Adams professes to have watched "Slap Shot" 200 or 300 times and "Youngblood" 20 times. Let's see...220 times two hours means 440 hours of hockey movies for Adams...which is approximately 18 days. Way to go, Craig!).

Back to the point now. If a movie is dumb, the Harvard men's hockey team won't mind, as long as there's enough blood. And in "Youngblood," the climax is not a goal but a fight.

For instance, as a psyche-up movie, the team overwhelmingly picks "Braveheart," a choice which could seem somewhat disturbing to psychoanalysts and very disturbing to the Crimson's opponents.

"On long road trips, we have a VCR on the bus, so we get to watch different movies," Rodgers said. "We watch 'Braveheart' and other types of movies like that."

"It's a great movie," junior Brian Famigletti said. "It really gets you going."

So you might beat the Harvard men's hockey team, but you will never take away its freedom.

Anyway, other than "Youngblood" and "Slap Shot," pickings get slim for pure hockey movies. In other words, "Mighty Ducks" territory.

In the first installment of the series, Emilio Estevez plays a stereo typical greedy lawyer who gets busted for DWI and has to perform community service by coaching a stereotypical inner-city pee-wee team with no money but a lotta heart.

In the second one (which came out after the NHL's Anaheim Mighty Ducks had begun operation), the Ducks go to the junior world championships and battle Evil European Teams.

They're kids' movies without much blood, so not many Harvard players saw either one. However, Adams did acknowledge that it is possible to pirouette with hockey skates, because in D-1, the girl on the team scores a goal on the super-secret pirouette-in-the-slot play. Score one for realism, at least.

Those are the only real fictional hockey movies. For documentary fans, there's "Miracle on Ice," which chronicles the 1980 U.S. Olympic champion team. Of course, many of Harvard's players are Canadian, so they don't go for that stuff.

"Love Story" involves the Harvard hockey team, but it's only secondary to the movie. Many players on the team hadn't seen it (Crimson Key, where are you?), but Philpott thought it was kind of cool to have a movie about Harvard hockey. He didn't like losing to Cornell, though.

"Sudden Death" has Jean-Claude van Damme beating up a bad guy that wants to blow up the arena during Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals. Some had seen it, some hadn't; no one considered it a hockey movie.

"The Cutting Edge" is about a figure skater and an ex-hockey player who are both jerks yet team up to win the Olympic medal in team figure skating. The plot could have been improved by having her play hockey instead of him doing a lutz, but Philpott still watched it when it was on earlier this week.

"It's not really a hockey movie," he said. "I'm not sure too many guys will admit liking that movie."

Adams sure didn't.

"I made a point about not seeing that one," he said.

And finally, "Strange Brew" is a weird, Canadian comedy about a couple guys going around drinking beer. They then uncover a plot by a brewer to take over the world by putting mind-control ingredients in the beer and bringing it to Oktober-fest.

The only hockey scenes come when the brewer tests his formula by "willing" the patients at a local insane asylum to play hockey. Canadians love it; Americans either haven't seen it or don't understand it.

"I love that movie," said Rodgers, a British Columbia native. "That's hilarious--all the 'eh, hoser,' stuff, I thought that was great.

(As a side note, Adams professes to have watched "Slap Shot" 200 or 300 times and "Youngblood" 20 times. Let's see...220 times two hours means 440 hours of hockey movies for Adams...which is approximately 18 days. Way to go, Craig!).

Back to the point now. If a movie is dumb, the Harvard men's hockey team won't mind, as long as there's enough blood. And in "Youngblood," the climax is not a goal but a fight.

For instance, as a psyche-up movie, the team overwhelmingly picks "Braveheart," a choice which could seem somewhat disturbing to psychoanalysts and very disturbing to the Crimson's opponents.

"On long road trips, we have a VCR on the bus, so we get to watch different movies," Rodgers said. "We watch 'Braveheart' and other types of movies like that."

"It's a great movie," junior Brian Famigletti said. "It really gets you going."

So you might beat the Harvard men's hockey team, but you will never take away its freedom.

Anyway, other than "Youngblood" and "Slap Shot," pickings get slim for pure hockey movies. In other words, "Mighty Ducks" territory.

In the first installment of the series, Emilio Estevez plays a stereo typical greedy lawyer who gets busted for DWI and has to perform community service by coaching a stereotypical inner-city pee-wee team with no money but a lotta heart.

In the second one (which came out after the NHL's Anaheim Mighty Ducks had begun operation), the Ducks go to the junior world championships and battle Evil European Teams.

They're kids' movies without much blood, so not many Harvard players saw either one. However, Adams did acknowledge that it is possible to pirouette with hockey skates, because in D-1, the girl on the team scores a goal on the super-secret pirouette-in-the-slot play. Score one for realism, at least.

Those are the only real fictional hockey movies. For documentary fans, there's "Miracle on Ice," which chronicles the 1980 U.S. Olympic champion team. Of course, many of Harvard's players are Canadian, so they don't go for that stuff.

"Love Story" involves the Harvard hockey team, but it's only secondary to the movie. Many players on the team hadn't seen it (Crimson Key, where are you?), but Philpott thought it was kind of cool to have a movie about Harvard hockey. He didn't like losing to Cornell, though.

"Sudden Death" has Jean-Claude van Damme beating up a bad guy that wants to blow up the arena during Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals. Some had seen it, some hadn't; no one considered it a hockey movie.

"The Cutting Edge" is about a figure skater and an ex-hockey player who are both jerks yet team up to win the Olympic medal in team figure skating. The plot could have been improved by having her play hockey instead of him doing a lutz, but Philpott still watched it when it was on earlier this week.

"It's not really a hockey movie," he said. "I'm not sure too many guys will admit liking that movie."

Adams sure didn't.

"I made a point about not seeing that one," he said.

And finally, "Strange Brew" is a weird, Canadian comedy about a couple guys going around drinking beer. They then uncover a plot by a brewer to take over the world by putting mind-control ingredients in the beer and bringing it to Oktober-fest.

The only hockey scenes come when the brewer tests his formula by "willing" the patients at a local insane asylum to play hockey. Canadians love it; Americans either haven't seen it or don't understand it.

"I love that movie," said Rodgers, a British Columbia native. "That's hilarious--all the 'eh, hoser,' stuff, I thought that was great.