NEWSPEAK

"This is the official position of the State Department. Roger Clemens is not a great American .... Roger Clemens is a traitor."

--State Department spokesperson and Red Sox fan Nicholas Burns in a media briefing yesterday, issuing a tongue-in-cheek denouncement of Clemens' recent signing with the Toronto Blue Jays. Clemens' new three-year, $24.75 million contract makes him the highest paid pitcher in history.