Finding The Right Balance

"The next four years are going to be the best of your life."

When I think back to the summer before my first year at Harvard, those words were constantly echoing through my head.

Having grown up in a large and fairly strict household, to say that I was eager to be out on my own would be a gross under statement. All I can remember is how psyched I was to get my college years underway, especially the first year, which was supposed to be the most fun.

Now, as a 20-year-old rising junior, it's difficult to think of myself as old. But the truth is, I'm halfway out of here. My first year has come and gone, and it ended much too soon.

The First year moves pretty quickly--if you don't stop to look around once in a while, you might miss it (apologies to Ferris).

Here are a few highlight about which you should be aware:

Orientation Week

This week, sometimes affectionately referred to as "Camp Harvard," is probably the most stress-free period in a Harvard career. When I wasn't stuffing my face with the ice cream that was practically forced down my throat or trying to figure out exactly why Harvard had so many a capella groups, I spent my time just chillin.'

I met more people during those seven days than I would have thought humanly possible; I literally must have been introduced to around 200 people. One week later, I could remember the names of about half of them--maybe. Two years later, I see about a dozen of them on a semi-regular basis.

But the point of Orientation Week isn't to find those people who are going to end up being those lifelong friends you were told to expect. (Although such occurrences are not unheard of--I met my closest friends then and during Pre-frosh Weekend.)

You should look at Orientation Week as a chance to get out there and take in as much of Harvard as you can.

Go shop in the Square, walk along the Charles, check out the Fogg or roll into Boston--this is your week, so take advantage or it.

It'll be the only time when your primary responsibilities are to relax and have a good time. Make sure to enjoy it while it lasts.

Formals

Although they are a less-than-adequate substitute for an actual party scene, these little extravaganzas are great when you just take them for what they are--a chance to get mad silly with your friends and classmates and look great while doing it.

Formals also provide the perfect excuse to get closer to that guy or girl you've been clocking and offer the perfect opportunity to get to know them better.

And they can still be fun even if you're not interested in anyone. Two years ago, I had a girlfriend back home in New York, but I still went to a handful of formals with friends.

I always had a great time but my favorites werethe CityStep Ball and the Freshman Formal.CityStep was the first formal I went to, and it'sfor a great cause. The Freshman Formal is coolbecause it gives you chance to try to remember thenames of all those people you met duringOrientation Week and never saw again.

But formals aren't completely without theirperils. If you're looking for a love connection,it's a good idea to shy away from going withsomeone who is widely known to be involved withsomeone else.

And if this absolutely cannot be avoided, trynot to follow in the foot steps of an unfortunateroommate of mine (who shall remain nameless). Thispoor but well-meaning soul spent a lot of money,time and effort trying to set up the perfectevening for his date. Yet he seemed surprised whenshe spent the night with her usual playmate. Myroommate is till trying to live that down.

Social Life

As I alluded to earlier, Harvard's strength iscertainly not its social life. Harvard is(thankfully) not an "Animal House" type of college(even though the screenwriters attended schoolhere.)

Hopefully this is not a surprise to you. If youcame here looking for phat parties every weekend,it might not be too late to get your tuitionrefunded.

But don't listen to those who tell you thatthere's nothing to get into here. The key toconstant fulfillment is one word: diversity.

As a first-year, I tried to avoid pigeonholingmyself into just one clique or scene.

I spent the first few weekends rolling with alarge number of the African-Americans in my classto parties at MIT, B.U. and Northeastern.

And although most of these parties were kindaphat, my off-campus forays would come to an abruptend. One night, I was forced to make the hour-longtrek home from B.U. with about five or six of myfriends because we missed that last T and didn'thave enough money for two cabs.

Mentally scarred, I spent the rest of the yearon campus, dividing my time between parties at theriver houses and the Quad. During the fall readingperiod, the inevitable happened--I found my wayinto the Crimson Sports Grille, Harvard's ownblack hole.

The Grille's most redeeming qualities are itslax carding policy and the fact that you canalways walk in there and spend a couple of hourscatching up with your pals from Orientation Week.Whatever. Stay away for as long as you can (sorry,Dave)--your liver will thank you.

Things I slept on during my first year includethe Boston club scene and parties at Harvard'svarious social clubs. In small doses, both scenescan be at worst benign and at best amusing.

Academics

As you may have noticed, I've pretty muchavoided discussing the academic aspect of my firstyear.

That is not meant to imply that it is not ofprimary importance. I'm just assuming thateveryone else you know is going to be droning onand on about how important it is.

Try to find the mix of work and play that worksbest for you. Don't worry if your roommate goesout twice as much as you; don't feel guilty ifyour best friend never goes out at all.

Cliches become cliches because of the truthbehind their words. I believe that these fouryears will be among the best of my life; I knowthat the past two years are among the best so far.

For me, the ride is halfway done, so I'm tryingto savor as much as I can for as long as I can.For you, the ride is just beginning, and the bestpart of it is the beginning.

Pay close attention and make sure that youdon't miss it.

Ubong U. Edemeka '97 is advertising managerof The Crimson.

I always had a great time but my favorites werethe CityStep Ball and the Freshman Formal.CityStep was the first formal I went to, and it'sfor a great cause. The Freshman Formal is coolbecause it gives you chance to try to remember thenames of all those people you met duringOrientation Week and never saw again.

But formals aren't completely without theirperils. If you're looking for a love connection,it's a good idea to shy away from going withsomeone who is widely known to be involved withsomeone else.

And if this absolutely cannot be avoided, trynot to follow in the foot steps of an unfortunateroommate of mine (who shall remain nameless). Thispoor but well-meaning soul spent a lot of money,time and effort trying to set up the perfectevening for his date. Yet he seemed surprised whenshe spent the night with her usual playmate. Myroommate is till trying to live that down.

Social Life

As I alluded to earlier, Harvard's strength iscertainly not its social life. Harvard is(thankfully) not an "Animal House" type of college(even though the screenwriters attended schoolhere.)

Hopefully this is not a surprise to you. If youcame here looking for phat parties every weekend,it might not be too late to get your tuitionrefunded.

But don't listen to those who tell you thatthere's nothing to get into here. The key toconstant fulfillment is one word: diversity.

As a first-year, I tried to avoid pigeonholingmyself into just one clique or scene.

I spent the first few weekends rolling with alarge number of the African-Americans in my classto parties at MIT, B.U. and Northeastern.

And although most of these parties were kindaphat, my off-campus forays would come to an abruptend. One night, I was forced to make the hour-longtrek home from B.U. with about five or six of myfriends because we missed that last T and didn'thave enough money for two cabs.

Mentally scarred, I spent the rest of the yearon campus, dividing my time between parties at theriver houses and the Quad. During the fall readingperiod, the inevitable happened--I found my wayinto the Crimson Sports Grille, Harvard's ownblack hole.

The Grille's most redeeming qualities are itslax carding policy and the fact that you canalways walk in there and spend a couple of hourscatching up with your pals from Orientation Week.Whatever. Stay away for as long as you can (sorry,Dave)--your liver will thank you.

Things I slept on during my first year includethe Boston club scene and parties at Harvard'svarious social clubs. In small doses, both scenescan be at worst benign and at best amusing.

Academics

As you may have noticed, I've pretty muchavoided discussing the academic aspect of my firstyear.

That is not meant to imply that it is not ofprimary importance. I'm just assuming thateveryone else you know is going to be droning onand on about how important it is.

Try to find the mix of work and play that worksbest for you. Don't worry if your roommate goesout twice as much as you; don't feel guilty ifyour best friend never goes out at all.

Cliches become cliches because of the truthbehind their words. I believe that these fouryears will be among the best of my life; I knowthat the past two years are among the best so far.

For me, the ride is halfway done, so I'm tryingto savor as much as I can for as long as I can.For you, the ride is just beginning, and the bestpart of it is the beginning.

Pay close attention and make sure that youdon't miss it.

Ubong U. Edemeka '97 is advertising managerof The Crimson.