A RAUCOUS READING PERIOD

Talented Harvard administrators really know how to spice up our vacations with some guilt and fear. Who except for masochists would ever have thought of placing final exams after the holidays? Two weeks of strained holidays, with exams, papers and final projects hanging over our heads just isn't the way we should live. Fortunately, always-resourceful Harvard students have fared pretty well.

Our blessing in disguise is reading period, the two weeks of (predominantly) class-free bliss that most of us spend studying for exams and finishing up those final papers and projects. During this time, a host of venerable activities and bright young upstarts keep the spirit alive. Along this vein, we at Dartboard have some slight improvements to make and some suggestions of our own.

The Primal Scream on the last night before finals is a great way to release tension and exercise those vocal chords. For added excitement, the inevitable and unflappable streakers which grace the Primal Screams keep our hearts beating a little faster--or turn us to stone, depending on the quality of the merchandise on display. It's time to boost House spirit and encourage mass participation. Allston Butt--Burr, we apologize--senior tutors, masters, and freshman deans should be required to participate in the nude. Sure, we might have an outbreak of nauseated sickness like the Freshman Union virus, but the photos would be worth it, wouldn't they?

Then there are the House-sponsored Milk and Cookies nights. Blah, blah, blah. As a Group I senior once told Dartboard, his secret to doing well on finals was to study like mad in the days preceding and get drunk on the night before. He graduated summa. House-sponsored slosh-fests might bring our collective GPAs up a bit. What would ole' Harvey Mansfield say about that?

The rule that parties are not permitted during reading period is simply a consistent continuation of the already-instituted "Christmases are not permitted" Harvard rule. Strike it down! Let parties reign free! No naked Masters, please.

And finally, for something completely different, we at Dartboard suggest starting another reading period tradition this year. How about a U.C.-organized kidnapping of the Registrar? The Council would provide a personal escort to the "Your Calendar Stinks" party, where naked senior tutors and Group I drunks would scream primal things into her ear.

Now reading period isn't seeming so bad, is it?