Lampy Honors Guitarist Joe Perry

The Harvard Lampoon, a semisecret social organization which occasionally publishes a so-called humor magazine, yesterday named Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry "String Instrumentalist of the Century."

The Lampoon gave him a "really fake" degree form Harvard, in an afternoon ceremony outside the Lampoon's Bow Street castle.

Mayor Kenneth E. Reeves '72 began the ceremony by giving Perry a key to the city and declaring--"by sweet emotion"--yesterday "Joe Perry Day in the City of Cambridge."

"You and Aerosmith have meant a lot here, especially at MIT, making sure artists are heard in the city," Reeves told Perry.

Lampoon President John Aboud III '95 presented the award to Perry.

"On behalf of the Harvard Lampoon, I'd like to present Joe Perry with this fine keepsake," Aboud said, "unless anyone thinks he doesn't deserve it."

A fiddle player identified only as "Jimbo Braddox" contested the award and challenged Perry to a trivia contest and a duel.

Perry answered two of the three trivia questions right, and then Braddox and Perry started a fiddle-guitar duel.

After several challenges, Perry broke into "Walk This Way," and emcee Joshua B. Lieb '94 said: "Mr. Braddox you can take that fiddle back to the bayou now. Congratulations, Joe Perry, on beating that hick."

Perry thanked The Lampoon and the audience.

"I'll never forget this day," he said. "You people are the real stars."

Lieb opened the ceremony to the audience, and Perry received a number of personal awards.

A team claiming to be from the Nobel Institute presented Perry with an award for Physics and rock-and-roll. A woman gave Perry a hug, thanking him for turning her son Tommy "into a mean, evil devil-worshiper with the best grades in his class."

Another woman claiming to be from the all-female "Jo Mamas" fan club ripped out what looked like her heart and threw it at Perry.

After each award Perry said, "Thank you very much. I'll never forget this day. You people are the real stars."

A group of students claiming to be Lampoon staffers on strike demonstrated during the ceremony. The students wore a variety of picket sings, including some which said "I'm John Aboud's love child" and "Lampoon linked to Whitewater scandal."

The protesters handed out fliers explainingthat the students "were forced to strike becausethe management at the Lampoon has taken away theirsense of humor."

The strikers asked for support form theaudience in their quest to restore the Lampoon'shumor.

"We ask you to please contact Harvard LampoonPresident John Aboud III, and ask him to befunny," the flier said.

After the ceremony, Perry gave an interview onthe castle's front steps while sitting in TheCrimson's historical President's Chair. Lampoonthugs stole the chair form The Crimson'ssecond-floor Sanctum in mid-February.

Aboud, a Crimson editor, promised to return thechair at the end of the interview, but hisfollowers attempted to take the chair back insidethe building. Aboud intervened, allowing severalCrimson editors to carry the chair back to 14Plympton St.

Crimson President Marion B. Gammill said shedid not regret the months of effort to regain thechair, which is now under guard in The Crimsonbuilding 24 hours a day.

"It's good for the Harvard community that it'sback. Maybe now the Lampoon will focus on puttingout a humorous issue," said Gammill, adding theshe was honored merely to see her favoriteguitarist

The protesters handed out fliers explainingthat the students "were forced to strike becausethe management at the Lampoon has taken away theirsense of humor."

The strikers asked for support form theaudience in their quest to restore the Lampoon'shumor.

"We ask you to please contact Harvard LampoonPresident John Aboud III, and ask him to befunny," the flier said.

After the ceremony, Perry gave an interview onthe castle's front steps while sitting in TheCrimson's historical President's Chair. Lampoonthugs stole the chair form The Crimson'ssecond-floor Sanctum in mid-February.

Aboud, a Crimson editor, promised to return thechair at the end of the interview, but hisfollowers attempted to take the chair back insidethe building. Aboud intervened, allowing severalCrimson editors to carry the chair back to 14Plympton St.

Crimson President Marion B. Gammill said shedid not regret the months of effort to regain thechair, which is now under guard in The Crimsonbuilding 24 hours a day.

"It's good for the Harvard community that it'sback. Maybe now the Lampoon will focus on puttingout a humorous issue," said Gammill, adding theshe was honored merely to see her favoriteguitarist