Where Do I Fit In?

Iremember being impressed during the summer--when I was still a pre-frosh--by the number of different cultural clubs that existed at Harvard. I was most impressed by the number of Latin American clubs, because I felt that if there were so many different clubs, then there must also be a dedication to the preservation of Latin American culture.

But I have observed that with the existence of so many different Latin American clubs, some distinct problems arise. The first problem is that instead of the unity that clubs express as their goal, there is a sense of separation within the Latin American culture. Because of this separation a second problem arises: competition between clubs. And lastly, the existence of a large number of clubs causes confusion for those students who are from a mixed Latin American background. To which club or clubs do they belong? Or must they form a club of their own?

Whether or not it is the intention of these clubs, they seem to put unnecessary pressure on students to identify themselves more and more with a specific branch of the Latin American culture instead of allowing students the opportunity to identify with the Latin American culture as a whole.

The Latin American culture is quite different from other minority cultures in the United States. It is comprised of dozens of distinct Latin American cultures, and in many cases there are few similarities between any two of these. And so, to some extent it is understandable that each of these cultures would want to have its own group with its own leaders and its own ideas and activities, especially at Harvard.

The latest example of this desire is the emergence of the Cuban-American Undergraduate Students Association (CAUSA) whose members maintain that since "Cubans are culturally different from other Hispanics" a club specifically targeted to the interests of their culture must be formed. One of CAUSA's founders, Cesar R. Conde '95, told the crimson a couple of weeks ago that "we felt there was a need to form a unified community for the Cuban-Americans on campus," because there were a large number of Cuban-Americans on campus but before CAUSA there was not an organization just for them.

But what clubs like CAUSA fail to recognize is that the more Latin American organizations that exist, the more we are saying that we are so different from each other that separation is an inevitable necessity.

For example, for some time now there has been strife between the Puerto Rican and the Dominican cultures in the United States. The conflicts arose for many reasons, some of which had to do with Puerto Rico's ongoing struggle with nationalism. But both cultures were so adamant about distinguishing themselves from each other that they paid no attention to their many similarities. This same thing is beginning to happen at Harvard.

Latin American clubs at Harvard seem so dedicated to distinguishing themselves from one another that they lose sight of one very important goal: the unity of the Latin American culture as a whole on the Harvard campus.

There are now five major Latin American clubs recognized at Harvard: LaO, Raza, Latinas Unidas, the Harvard Forum on Hispanic Affairs and the newest addition, CAUSA. All are for distinct groups: Puerto Ricans, Hispanic women, Chicanos, politically involved Hispanics and Cuban-Americans.

The fact that Latinos feel that they must break up in order to identify themselves shows one important thing: that the Latin American culture is not secure and united within itself. It shows a fear and an insecurity that one specific culture will be stripped away and lost in the larger spectrum of the Latin American culture.

Latino students are pressured by the existence of so many clubs at Harvard. They are pressured to identify themselves with one of these groups, or if they are not represented adequately by one of these groups, then they must create their own special interest group. If they don't they are considered sellouts.

But this creates the third problem: what about students like me who are of mixed Latin American origin? Should I join all the clubs that represent each third of my background? What if there isn't a club for one of my thirds? Should I then create one? Or should I be the founder of the Mixed Undergraduate Latinos at Harvard (MULAH) because I am so "culturally different" from other Hispanics?

I don't want to be considered so different from the other Latinos at Harvard that I have to form a club of my own to feel like I care about who I am. I don't want to separate myself from other people who speak Spanish just because there are distinct political problems happening in the various countries that represent my origin or because there is a different dialect or slang in our common language. More and more I am feeling that to join one of these clubs would be to adhere to the belief that separation means identification, and I don't want to be identified that way.

In the summer when I was thinking about what clubs I could possibly join, I did considered joining an ethnic group. But when I arrived at Harvard and it was time to decide, I honestly did not know which group to join I wanted to find a club dedicated to the unity of Latinos in general at Harvard, without having to sacrifice my own personality to be a member. I have not found a club like that here.

Instead, CAUSA's emergence has made me realize that I have found the verification of a belief I had living in New York City surrounded by the conflicts of Puerto Ricans and Dominicans. The problem that Latinos are having at Harvard and in this country is not that Latinos are united so much that distinct cultures can't be recognized and appreciated by others,. It's that the different cultures are so separated and so competitive that our goal is no longer to find a place within the American culture as much as it is to find our place within the Latin American culture. That place however, can't be occupied by other Latinos.