Take the G - Train

FM was at Dunster House during reading period and decided to stay for dinner. On this particular night, as part of the dining service's "visiting chefs series," the culinary staff of pillar House, a local gourmet restaurant, was making dinner. Dunsterites were asked to arrive at the dining hall at six in "neat attire." As might have been expected, the sophomores over-dressed. The food was better than Turkey Tettrazini has ever been, and each place setting was equipped with four--count'em: one, two, three, four--forks. There was a seafood flatula stuffed with fat shrimp, and salad made from what seemed like pesky courtyard weeds. To cleanse the palate of residual flavors, there was a trou normand lime sorbet. Dining Services Czar Michael Berry made the rounds, and a string quartet made stately, playing pieces by classical composers. But the kicker was neither the food nor the ambience. The kicker was the wine. three kinds. A hearty but slightly sour red, a 1991 white, and something called grenache. And so lots of folks, FM included, got drunk.

And they tell us we can't drink because we're under age. They say that we had better be 21 if we want to bring a keg or a fifth up to the room; that under no circumstances can we finish that bottle of beer in the dining hall. Three kinds, no less. Mixed messages? Hypocrisy? Nothing less.

FM had dinner the other night at Silla, the Japanese-Korean restaurant next door to Grendel's. FM has this to say; if you like yoursushi dry, go to Silla's

The Mather library is just plain different. Itscouches are deep and soft, its bulbous lamps evokeLando Calrissian's Cloud City, and its staircasecurves so tightly it appears muscular. The libraryalso distinguishes itself by subscribing to loadsof magazines. (Among house libraries, onlyKirkland gets more).

A type-written sign in front of the magazinerack asks that each time a magazine is read, acheck be put next to its title. According to thelist, Mather's most commonly read magazine isCosmopolitan. With 16 checks, Cosmo--a magazinewhich depicts women as shiny, frisky boy toys--ismore popular than even People, which comes in aclose second. Meanwhile, Ms., the feministmonthly, boasts a scant 3 checks. On anotherfront, it looks as if Mather's age-old war betweenburly athletes and computer hackers is being wonby the latter. MacUser--which depicts computers asshiny, frisky boy toys--has been checked twice asmany times as Sports Illustrated, a perennial jockfavorite.

You've got to be amazed: even in these days ofinformation highways, personal digital assistantsand a Democrat in the White House, some Harvardstudents don't have an answering machine.

Can this be? It's simply a fact of modern lifethat every phone line should have a deviceattached to it for those rare moments when youaren't home.

"He doesn't have one because it's a EuroA-