FOR YOUR DINING PLEASURE

What do you want to think about as you're walking into the dining hall for a meal? Blood being sucked out of your system? How about taking a gander at a picture of an aborted fetus? Sounds tasty, no?

Lately, the tabling campaigns in the Houses have had a distinctively medical slant. Both the Red Cross Blood Drive and the Harvard-Radcliffe Alliance for Life have been signing up students, both in the supposed pursuit of saving lives.

As it stands, students have every incentive to hurry by the tables without even a glance. The Red Cross' table has little to offer. Why spoil one's dinner with thoughts of bodily fluids other than saliva? The Alliance for Life's display carries some frightening portentions. What if you're a pre-med looking at a future in obstetrics? You might just be facing down the person who will one day point a gun in your face.

We at Dartboard believe that different recruiting strategy might work better for both organizations. Perhaps tasteful flyers for door-drops could enhance students' appetites for donating blood and picketing abortion clinics. The Red Cross might even use some quotes from "Interview with a Vampire" for a deliciously topical pitch.

Some things just don't mix with mealtime. At our hungriest moments, we at Dartboard wouldn't want to sign a note of sympathy for Jeffrey Dahmer's parents any more than sign away a pint of blood or check out modern surgical techniques--especially when the savory beet brisket looks like it's about to walk off vour plate.