CLUH TO THE RESCUE

We at Dartboard will sleep better knowing there's someone to watch over us.

Right after Thanksgiving, while the rest of us were still contemplating our turkey, the Civil Liberties Union of Harvard (CLUH) was hard at work protecting our rights.

In its dogged determination to keep The Man off our backs, CLUH sent a letter to the Dean of Students' office asking Dean Epps to end the oppressing ban on Holworthy Hall banners, "because of the unique significance of Holworthy Hall as a means of communication and expression."

Sure, you say. What's the big deal about these lame banners? They annoyed me too. But, comrade, can't you see the forest for the trees?

First they ban banners on Holworthy. Next, they remove pictures of naked men from Dudley House, just hours before Silly Sally the Clown is to arrive. Watch the slippery slope...

Next, they'll ban writing on House dining hall trays. And then, the sedan drives up and two large men cart away grandma.

Holworthy students have the God-given right to display anything they want. The Class of 1998--like those before them--deserve to reap the profits from those greedy, conniving a capella groups.

Comrades, Dean Epps's outrageous directive is only the beginning of a fiendish scheme to turn the rest of us into mindless slaves.

Students of the world, unite! They can't kill us all. The proletarians have nothing to lose but their chains!