And the Band Played On (II)

I've been to over two-thirds of the Harvard football home games over the past two years, and I've always come out unsatisfied.

Not because of the level of play or quality of the officiating, but there is something missing from the experience of going to a football game here.

Putting it bluntly, the crowd stinks, and it's not because people don't show up. (12,880 people attended Saturday's tough loss to Cornell.)

Rather, the fans are disorganized, uninspired and plainly put, LAME.

There, I've said it.

Sorry if I've offended anybody, especially the truly loyal fans who have flocked to Harvard Stadium for decades. I realize that you don't have the energy to expend cheering or chanting--it's admirable that you come year in and year out, and it is not my intention to hurt your feelings.

And before I get my picture posted in the bathroom of one of Harvard's oldest performing organizations (as my colleague Sean Wissman seems to have done prior to yesterday's Words of Wissman column), I'd like to congratulate the band on a first-rate half-time show and a good quality performance, notewise, on Saturday.

But aside from the halftime show, I can't say that the band's repertoire is something that gets me or most other people involved in the game either.

Now don't get me wrong--I truly like classical music, but the triumphal scene from Verdi's Aula or Dvorak's New World Symphony doesn't have the same effect for me in a football game as it does on my CD player.

How many people started chanting "DEE-FENSE" or made noise when the band played those so-called fight songs?

Not many, and the players most likely couldn't hear anything on the field.

On the other side of the stadium, the Cornell band was very effective in getting its crowd into the game, playing the song where the crowd thrusts their right fists into the air, saying "Hey!", or the cadence before a kick-off that the Harvard band labels as a "High School Band" chant.

Those people watching the game on Prime Network would have guessed that the game was being played in Ithaca if they didn't know otherwise. They must have admired Harvard for holding onto the lead for most of the game in spite of the Cornell fans.

Again, I'm sorry if I'm offending anyone--don't send this column into the fireplace yet.

I will actually try to rectify the situation a little bit, to make going to a Harvard football game more fun for the fan (especially the students).

This also isn't a trash-the-band column (although I might write one when the band starts the "goalie sieve-funnel-vacuum-black hole-you just suck" chant in the middle of a close hockey game).

Learn and enjoy.

(1)Percussion

Nothing can get a crowd involved better than lengthy and numerous percussion cadences. Get those drums banging--after all, solo wind or brass sections often get lost in an open-air stadium.

If nothing else, get a chant of "DEE-FENSE" going--the drummers bang down twice and the crowd says defense, and the two groups alternate until the next play is over.

I mean, this isn't radical--almost every other college and professional crowd does that, so why can't we?

For example, Cornell had a first-and-goal in the third quarter Saturday, but the Harvard fans were dead. You could hear the Cornell fans urge their team on, but before it got to third down, the Harvard side was mute.

(2)How about playing some really popular theme songs like the Cornell band played?

I did a little survey among my colleagues at Cabot House last night about what songs would be appropriate.

The song that jumped to almost everyone's mind was the Imperial March from the Star Wars trilogy.

Cornell's band and numerous other bands play it, so why can't ours? Maybe perform it after a defensive sack or a turnover.

The Final Countdown from the Rocky movies came in at number two. Play it when the game is in its closing stages or at other exciting moments.

Other considerations go to the Budweiser song--the Harvard band has played it on occasion in the past, but not often enough.

The theme from Jaws could be played after a sack or some hard tackle.

Or throw in a little West Side Story, like the Mambo theme.

In any event, playing these songs cannot hurt, and they're fun to play and listen to in the process.

(3) A challenge to our composers in the band or crowd.

Compose something short and catchy, like Michigan's fight song (Hail! Hail!).

"Ten Thousand Men of Harvard" is a nice piece, but Harvard students know only the first two and last two lines at most, and it's a little too long to play inbetween downs.

(4) This suggestion isn't for the band, but rather for the cheerleaders. Make your cheers short and sweet as well, something that the crowd might want to cheer along to.

Again, not to knock anyone, but a chant of "Let's Go Defense" just isn't very inspiring.

Rang on your megaphones and say "DEE-FENSE." Fifty bucks says that the crowd will respond.

If they don't, then you know the fans are hopeless and you can save your energy and voices.

(5) To the fans, don't be afraid to start your own chant.

Go to a Harvard hockey game and a good part of the fun involves listening to and creating inventive descriptions of the opposing goaltender's shot-blocking abilities.

Look at the word "sieve". It's a short word, but it carries a lot of power at a hockey game.

So as a challenge, be the person who comes up with an equivalent chant at the football games. It would be greatly appreciated. Trust me.

The Cornell fans chant "Let's Go Red" all the time, and it definitely inspires their team.

Harvard needs something along those lines as well.

(6) At least let the players and coaches know you are there.

For example, Harvard Coach Tim Murphy decided to have his team punt the ball from the Cornell 33 instead of going for it on fourth down. How about a good-natured jeer to let him know that it would be more exciting to go for it--you don't lose too much in the way of field position if you don't make the first down.

Or, if you don't want to boo a coach's decision, let the officials have it.

I booed a non-call of pass-interference Saturday, and half of the section I was sitting in turned around and looked at me as if I had gangrene.

OK, others hooted as well, but most didn't--nobody is forcing you to chain your mouth shut.

Loosen up and have fun.

(7) This suggestion goes to the athletic department and the ticket office.

Create a real students section, not just the crummiest seats around the 10-to 20-yard line.

Put the students around midfield and rope off that area--the students migrate towards the middle of the field anyway and there is absolutely no organization among them.

It would be a shame if none of these ideas worked, but you don't lose anything by trying.

Something really should have the ability to change the atmosphere of a Harvard football game.

There is no law saying that the Harvard fans have to be different from the vociferous crowds and bands at other colleges in Division A or 1-AA.

The players would appreciate having a real home field advantage and not just be renting their stadium to the opposition almost every home game.

A sport is supposed to be relaxing and fun to watch--I only wish there could be more of that here.

David S. Griffel is assistant sports editor of The Crimson.