EXTRA-ADVICE

It's that time of year again when first-years and sophomores with bad memories find themselves dreadfully overextended in the extracurricular department. Can't believe you signed up for the Japanese Tea Society and the Democratic Socialists? You'll be needing to pare down the extent of your obligations. Lucky for you, we have a few tips.

If any organization you are considering has a name that can't be expressed in a five-letter word, forget it. Take our glowing example of "Crime"--short, to-the-point and even descriptive. However, acronyms are best; they inspire a feeling of inclusiveness, since no one else knows what you guys mean by "HaRMONY" or "HPIE."

You should really avoid organizations with inscrutable mottoes. For instance, an alleged literary magazine on campus uses the Latin phrase "Dulce Est Periculum," which means "Danger Is Sweet." Now, if we hadn't told you that, you might have unexpectedly found yourself experiencing the sweetness of jumping off the Weeks Bridge during your comp. Beware of slogans in tongues!

Food can be a precise indicator of the potential success and edification of participating in a particular group. Use the following scale at the typical introductory meeting: Empty room--Avoid Like Plague; dining hall--Use Extreme Skepticism; chips, cookies, soda--Come to Next Meeting; fancy hors d'oeuvres--Volunteer for Door-Dropping; free beer--You Want to Be President.