Go Back to Sleep and Stay Far, Far Away From Seattle

Okay, listen carefully.

First, you take "When Harry Met Sally." Edit out the good jokes. Take away any hint of realism. Then make the Meg Ryan character even more self-absorbed and whiny.

What you have left is "Sleepless in Seattle," the exoskeleton of "Sally," a good--if widely overrated--movie.

Here's the plot; try not to get lost. Wife of husband (Tom Hanks) dies. Husband (now Widower) is sad, and moves to Seattle with young son. Son (Ross Malinger), worried about lonely father, calls a radio call-in show. Widower gets on the phone and pours out his heart to the American people. Unmarried Woman in Baltimore (Meg Ryan) hears Widower and her heart goes out to him. She writes a letter. There's a few bumps along the way, but, surprise, Widower and Unmarried Woman get together in the end.

For all the twists and turns, this is P-R-E-D-I-C-T-A-B-L-E. You've seen every element of the movie before. It's kind of like "Kramer vs. Kramer" with a death instead of a divorce meets the female lead of "The Presidio."

And for all of its romantic pretensions, "Sleepless in Seattle" is, at heart, anti-romance. In this film, love and romance have little or nothing to do with intelligence, honesty, sharing or suffering.

It's all about "magic"--the myth of love at first sight--which reduces love and romance to superficial attraction. Hanks sees Ryan on an airport runway and instantly he's in love. Not a word. Not a shared experience. Meg Ryan is blonde and gorgeous. Falling in "love" with her at first sight isn't magical It's isn't magical. It's biology

The writer and filmmaker, Nora Ephron, who also did "Sally," desperately needs a new idea. This movie even ends in a very familiar way. In New York City. With a love song playing. And a long climb to the top of some building. By the time Ryan gets to top of the Empire State (to hook up with Hanks), there's only one question left: Where's Billy Crystal?

When Ryan and Hanks finally get together, the twosome evokes the on-screen chemistry they had in "Joe Versus the Volcano." Which is to say: None. Watching these two actors together is about exciting as watching the interaction between Alka-Seltzer and water.

There are some nice supporting performances, and a good visual effect with the map of the United States. A running gag about an old movie, "An Affair to Remember," isn't bad.

But what's needed here is a completely different recipe, With "Sleepless," all you get is leftovers.

It isn't magical. It's biology.