Who can I eat with?

Dear Norma,

This time change thing has me confused. Is it now 8:37, 9:37, or 7:37? I'm looking at my clock and I'm not sure. I finally decided to write to you because I need a quick response. I'm not leaving my room until you tell me because I'm afraid I'll be an hour late to everything. --Confused (and Late) in Quincy

Dear Confused,

That's a difficult question and I'm glad you felt comfortable contacting me. After much thought, I have two pieces of advice: 1) spring forward, fall back, and 2) get a shrink.

Dear Norma,

My roommate is being followed by hordes of admirers who bring her goodies: ice cream, flowers, candy. She isn't interested in any of them, and she keeps telling me that. And I guess she does try to tell them to go away. I've heard her explaining that she doesn't want to go out with them. But I think she should give her presents back. Instead she enjoys the ice cream and says they're only too happy to give it to her. Am I right or is she?   --Righeous Roommate

Dear Righteous,

I so loooove it when people ask ME to solve their disputes. There's no need to give the presents back. They are presumably offered to show affection and not to buy it. (If they are truly admirers, they would not be trying to buy her affections.) Let her enjoy her gifts, but ask her to share; as a confidante, you deserve at least half the tub.

Dear Norma,

I'm finally going out with the perfect person. I'm getting As in all my courses, and my professor thinks my last paper should be turned into a book. Everything's going right, but I feel like something is wrong. I'm afraid something bad is going to happen. What should I do to prevent that?   --Petrified and Helpless

Dear Petrifled,

Calm down. If you can't enjoy the good life while you have it, then what's the point of having it? I consulted an astrologer and it sounds like your lucky phase should last exactly 73 days, so don't worry until then. Happy counting.

Dear Norma,

I eat with the same people every day in North House. I am finally tired of this. I want to meet people, but I have never ventured into another dining hall, not even the Union (I'm a transfer). Where should I start?   --Wanting to be Out and About

Dear Wanting,

Well, the Union has the greatest people to area ratio, and they're first years so they'll be excited to meet people. On the other hand, do you really want to meet first-years? Adams is hopeless; no one will talk to you. Mather's not bad, and it has a good view. You might try Winthrop, if everyone's getting along. With Kirkland and Eliot, I suppose you could go wrong. Quincy's too noisy, Cabot's quite nice, Leverett's not pretty, and Dunster has lice (well, it has ants, I think, but that doesn't rhyme). Basically they're all the same; pick one at random.

Dear Norma,

My mother-in-law came to visit last weekend and she stayed in my dorm room. My husband and I only just got married so we figured we'd stay in the dorms to have our last taste of student life. Now she's gone (thank God) and my blue bathrobe is missing. I think she may have taken it. How do I approach her? My husband says she would never have taken it and refuses to bring it up. Now the issue is causing a strain on our relationship. Should I leave it be or should I ask her about it?   --Annoyed, wet, and naked

Dear Annoyed,

Don't worry about the bathrobe, worry about the mother-in-law. She and your husband are the far bigger problem. Talk things out with him (divorce) and see if you can work it out. Buy yourself a new bathrobe. And don't ever invite her again.