Has she seen any good movies lately?

Dear Norma,

I'm in love with a movie star who's here at Harvard, right among us. I saw this person on the big screen last weekend, and that was it. I don't want to mention the film or anything--well, okay, he or she is either in "The Age of Innocence," "The Joy Luck Club" or "The Good Son." How do I ask out a star? And what do I talk to him or her about? Does the line, "seen any good movies lately?" not work in this situation? Starstruck on Cowperthwaite Street

Dear Starstruck,

You're in luck, but not in love. It's probably just an infatuation, and they pass. That time-tested ice-breaker, "Seen any good movies lately" works most of the time, so I see no reason it shouldn't work in your case. Your star might even find it endearing. Just don't ask her if she or he knows X, Y or Z famous movie stars. Brenda on "90210" left the University of Minnesota just for that reason; imagine how a Harvard student would react. Don't stress, and if your star does happen to know Richard Gere, tell him Norma sends her love.

Dear Norma,

I was taking the GRE last weekend at Tufts, and I fell in love with the guy sitting behind me. I'll call him "Greg." I kept turning around to look at Greg, and he kept smiling at me.

To make a long story short, my problem is two-fold: one, when will I ever see him again? We didn't get to exchange phone numbers because the test proctor screamed at me since he thought I was looking at Greg's answers. I got kicked out of the testing center and now my scores have been invalidated and I'm in a whole lot of trouble. That's problem two. Any suggestions? N Number, No Future in Winthrop

Dear No Number,

YOU DID WHAT? Honey, you've got more important things to worry about than Greg, right now. The GREs determine your FUTURE. Thiscouldruiny-ourlifeohmyGod. I'm sorry. Really sorry. Try Ann Landers, Ask Beth, Hints for Heloise. Hell, try Ask Shagg. It's possible the adrenaline rush of taking the GREs led to a strange delirium which you translated into lust. What do I know? All my doctor friends are on vacation in the Caribbean. Seriously, get a note from your doctor. I'm sure there's some name for your problem. Please write back and let us know how you're doing. Failed GRE stories are always welcome around here.

Dear Norma,

My roommate says Jean-Luc Picard is just a fictional character, but I know he's real and he's communicating with me through the TV every Saturday night. He masquerades as Patrick Stewart by day just to throw off the press. Is there a place near Cambridge where starships can land? If you respond, maybe I can get you a date with Wesley Crusher.   Enterprising in Eliot

Dear Enterprising,

The Quad would be a perfect place; in fact I've seen a number of people hanging out around there who look like they're waiting for a spaceship.

And thanks for the offer, but I'm really not interested. Bev has been a good friend of mine for years, and I hear Wesley is up to no good.