FM Profiles

Headline Does Cow-Tipping Count?

Home: North House and Anderson, Indiana

Concentration: Psychology

Etc.: Mary is absolutely terrified of squirrels.

Why she chose psychology: People on Harvard's campus are crazy and I want to help them.

Potential complications: Some people are not curable and I think I may be one of them.

Perhaps this explains her condition: My dad's a minister and so's my mom and you can tell because I'm wild and reckless.

What she's done that's reckless: Does cow-tipping count?

No Mary, cow-tipping does not count: Well, I used to slap people on the head with leather gloves in the Union.

Why she slapped people on the head with leather gloves in the Union: Because they cut in front of me without saying "excuse me."

What she's up to these days: I dance on the shuttle bus.

Why she dances on the shuttle Bus: The shuttle buy is my domain.

What she does if the shuttle bus music isn't good: I ask the driver to change the tune.

Her tip for keeping one's PowerBook from being stolen: I'd shit with that thing.

Why she's dangerous: You can't be on your guard against me because you just don't know what I'll do.

Interview: Michael Farbiarz

Photo: Haibin Jiu