Escape to Wisconsin, Eat Cheese and Die

Before a short-lived liberal administration changed it a few years ago, the official Wisconsin tourism motto was "Escape to Wisconsin."

The unofficial motto, just as effective, was "Eat Cheese or Die," Perhaps it helps explain why Wisconsin residents have the highest heart-attack rate in the nation.

The medical statistics aside, the Dairy State is a great place to visit, no matter what you're looking for. There's an endless list of things to do and places to see.

The first activity on that list is drinking beer. Wisconsin is the home of Miller's humungous Milwaukee brewery, which gives tours five days a week. Other small breweries are scattered across the state, Including Leinenkugel in Chippewa Falls (now regrettably owned by Miller), Huber's in Monroe and Capital brewery in Madison.

Beer is the force behind the University of Wisconsin at Madison and its well-deserved reputation as a party school. Playboy rated it Number One Just a few years ago. Harvard did not make the top 10.

If you decide to visit the state school, head toward the heart of the campus, located on State Street. Try hanging out at the Memorial Union's Ratskellar, possibly the darkest and smokiest room in the city and a second home for various artsy bands from around the country.

If You're around in the winter, you can try--try is the key word--to get tickets to see the UW Badgers play hockey. They're pretty good.

Don't leave Madison without trying the UW campus' home-produced ice cream. It makes Haagen-Dazs look like ice milk.

For the desperate city native, good bagels are available at Bagels Forever, on University Avenue. Their bagels are a bit heavy but they're also cheap.

For culture and arts, visit Wisconsin's largest city, Milwaukee. The Milwaukee Symphony and City Ballet put on good shows, and there's a nice art museum on the lake nearby. The Milwaukee County Zoo is also worth seeing. Don't worry, Jeffrey Dahmer is long gone.

Sporting events are usually in plentiful supply in Milwaukee, varying with the season. The Milwaukee Brewers play in Milwaukee County Stadium (passed off as Cleveland Stadium in the movie Major League), and occasionally they even win. The Milwaukee Bucks compete in the newly-built and incredibly spacious Bradley Center.

For excellent and cheap shopping, head south from Milwaukee to Kenosha. There's an outlet mall there--featuring Liz Claiborne J. Crew, the Gap and Bass--for all you gapified travelers.

Visitors interested in cultural literacy should make sure they set aside time to visit some of the Frank Lloyd Wright monuments dotting the state. Taliesen, the famous architect's home, is in Spring Green, right near Madison. The Johnson's Wax Factory in Racine is also worth checking out.

Finally, there's the open outdoors, the real "escape" that Wisconsin offers. Rivers and lakes, hiking trails and campgrounds are all over the place. Door County, though a bit commercialized now, still has cherry orchards and swimming holes.

Try to pass through Hayward, Wisconsin, where the largest sturgeon in captivity was caught. Environmental types will also want to see the memorial to the passenger pigeon in Wyalusing State Park.

On Your way up there, take a break at the Norske Nook in Osseo for some of the best homemade pie available in the Western Hemisphere.

Madeleine Island in Lake Superior is unspoiled and absolutely gorgeous. It only has one small general store, but it is occasionally a meeting place for Harley Davidson biker conventions. Watch out.

After any excursion to the wilderness in the Dairy State, you should head to the Club-Med of Wisconsin: the American Club Resort in Kohler. (You may have seen the world Kohler on your faucet--it's the country's largest manufacturer of water appliances.) Each room in the resort is equipped with a huge whirlpool, bidet, plush toilet and "the world's best urinals" Enjoy.