Astaire, Rogers...Stallone, Getty

The new Stallone/Getty vehicle opened this week to a round of boos and jeers, not surprisingly. Stop or My Mom Will Shoot sounds like a miserable movie and probably is, but it would be interesting to see a documentary about the making of the film.

A recent film about the making of Apocalypse Now! traced Francis Ford Coppola's descent into madness as the movie and the Cambodian jungle where it was shot became the director's obsession.

A similar account of the creation of Stallone's new movie could probably be made except the whole thing would never leave the studio boardroom. After all, if this isn't a "concept" film, then such a thing doesn't exist.

OPENING SHOT--camera zeroes in on a huge office on the Universal Pictures lot. Inside, sitting around a large glass, table, we see several men in blue suits.

CAMERA ROAMS AROUND THE TABLE--the camera zooms in on the face of each studio exec, revealing well-tanned, yet suitably-stubbled visages.

VOICE ONE--one of the suits comes up with an idea for what he calls a sure-fire hit.

"Wait, I know. We're looking for something to capture all audiences, What about Stallone and what's her name from the Golden Girls for the fogies."

VOICE TWO--"Bea Arthur."

VOICE ONE--"No, the other one."

VOICE THREE--"Estelle Getty."

VOICE ONE--"That's it. She'd be absolutely perfect."

CAMERA SLOWLY MOVES OUT OF THE ROOM, THROUGH THE WINDOW AND OVER THE CITY; MUSIC IN BACKGROUND AND VOICE OVER THE MUSIC--Ah, the spawning of a great idea.