Roadkill: Squash Runs Over Hopeless Trinity

The Trinity men's and women's squash teams came to Hemenway Gym yesterday to face their powerhouse Harvard counterparts.

They should have stayed home.

The Holy Trinity would have had trouble beating the squads from Cambridge; Hartford's finest simply had no chance.

Both Harvard squash teams whomped Trinity: the men, 8-1, and the women, 9-0.

"We thought we would have the upper hand," women's Associate Coach Christina Brownell said. "Yet, we were missing two key players, so we were a little worried."

Please. A little worried? Let's be honest, this one was a no-brainer.

The question wasn't whether the Crimson could win, but more like whether it would lose a match.

Sparked by a complete team effort, the women did not lose a match.

In fact, they only lost four total games!

"I thought the women played great squash," Harvard Coach Bill Doyle said."We have been preparing for Trinity all fall, and today we but it all together."

The scary part about the women's victory--at least if you're on Harvard's schedule--is that the Johnnies were missing two of their top players.

Juniors Polly Butler and Jordanna Fraiberg are abroad this semester and will not join the team until January. Once they return, look for Harvard to roll--steamroll.

We're talking heavy construction equipment here.

"If we stay healthy, we can play with anyone in the country," Doyle said.

On the men's side, the Crimson turned in another one of its ho-hum, typically dominating performances which are quickly turning ridiculous. Would someone find a decent opponent for this team?

Taking up right where it left off last year (and that would be the national championship, remember), the men destroyed Trinity. Seven of the eight Harvard victories were by the score of 3-0.

"I thought that we might have some competitive matches," Trinity Coach John Anz said. "But they were stronger at virtually every position."

Not only that, but quicker and more skilled, too. The inevitable question arises: is this year's team even better than last year's national champions?

"No," Anz said. "Harvard is strong, but last years team was the best college squash team I have ever seen."

Nonetheless, the Crimson looks ready to defend its position at the top. Doyle stressed the need to pick up the intensity in the next few matches, but then again, the season is young.

There is plenty of time to mold this team into a national champion.

"We have the talent to repeat," said Doyle. "But right now we want to work on perfecting technical aspects of the game. You can't play great squash for four months. The time to soar is in January."

And soar they will.