Reporters' Notebook

OUTSIDE THE CASTLE--While capturing for posterity the arborial bliss of the planting of Freedom Tree II, a Crimson photographer was approached by members of the Lampoon. The ever-courteous 'Poonsters generously offered to pose with the sapling: "Want a picture of us giving the tree the finger?"

The photographer, mindful of the rules against posed pictures but touched nonetheless by the kind offer, reluctantly refused.

With a sigh of happiness, the photographer returned to her work, only to be interrupted by two passers-by, who wondered about the environmental extravaganza taking place.

One exclaimed, "A tree being planted in Cambridge! How wonderful! Do you know why they're planting it?"

The photographer, always eager to help confused tourists, straightened up and replied, "There used to be another tree standing here--a stately reminder of the glory of nature. But its life was ended by a murderous axe, all because of the Lampoon." The photographer pointed to the Castle.

The bemused bystander remained unsure. "You mean random people attacked the poor tree just because it grew in front of the Lampoon?"

"Not exactly, ma'am. Allegedly, the tree's murderers were the members of the Lampoon itself."

The passers-by recoiled in horror. Then, after a pregnant pause, the strangers 'fessed up: "Wait. What is the Lampoon, anyway?"

Maybe ignorance is bliss, after all.

* * * * *

No Excuses

At a recent meeting of the Cambridge Women's Commission, Cambridge Police crime analyst Richard E. Seveiri was asked why the results of police investigations into Cambridge crimes are not made public.

His answer? "There are no daily papers that come out in Cambridge, so all the news is a week behind."

To add insult to injury, Seveiri--who had been interviewed by The Crimson less than a week before--reiterated his lame excuse moments later. "One of the problems is that there is no daily paper in Cambridge," he claimed.

What are we, chopped liver?