Double Duty: A Writer or a Role Model?

I can't recall ever being treated differently by a source or colleague because I happen to be a journalist who is also Black and Native American.

Although football Coach Joe Restic never returned a single phone call to me during the fall season, and his secretary refused a request to set up an appointment for me to speak with him, Restic failed to return the calls of any of The Crimson's three football writers. So it wasn't just me.

And while I was good friends with men's basketball Coach Pete Roby, he never revealed any deep secrets to me about his squad because we happened to have been two Blacks in positions normally closed to Blacks.

Nonetheless, I do recall there being pressure--mostly self-imposed--to fulfill the double-duty of being not only a good sportswriter, but also a Black journalist who presents a Black perspective in other parts of the paper. I attended many boring news meetings. I ordered myself to write features, editorials, anything which has meaning outside of sports.

In retrospect, I think part of it was the dearth of Blacks on the newspaper. There were only two Black executives (my brother and myself) the year my class ran the paper. Consequently, I felt that I should step forward since several Black Harvard students had told me they believe The Crimson is racist. This is thought of the same newspaper which had a president who is Black back in 1951.

I'm not sure if I did enough, or if I should have done anything other than my job, to change this perception. I can look around and see that there are not many more Blacks on the paper than when I began in December 1985. Although I am not the type to carry the torch, and lead Blacks to the Promised Land of journalism, I am, in some ways, disappointed in myself.

When I was co-editor of my high school newspaper, The Viking Venture, I was the only Black involved with the newspaper. The following year, five Blacks enrolled in the school's first-year journalism class. I hoped my visibility--I wrote a monthly column, Casey's Corner, which included my picture--had something to do with it. But I did not actively go out and recruit these people.

I wonder if I should blame myself for there not being more Blacks on The Crimson. I try to tell myself that Blacks must be willing to go through the "comp," like I did. But I still wonder if I should have recruited them. Should bringing more Blacks into the fold be another responsiblility minority journalists should bear, as college professors who are Black are expected to act also as big siblings to students?

Although I tell myself I shouldn't be, I am also disappointed that I have not published more opinion pieces. Make no mistake about it, I did write a lot of editorials. But most of them became deleted files. I was concerned I was not saying anything new, important of particularly enlightening.

I must admit there was also fear on my behalf that my liberal colleagues would allow me to write anything I wished. My fear was they would be either (a) gung-ho for something controversial to be in the newspaper or (b) gun-shy at being labeled racist for possibly censoring a Black.

In trying to do more outside of the sports department, I began to attend news meetings, and tried to be more cognizant of what besides sports happens on the newspaper. There was a story posing as a tribute to Black History Month last year which had a one-sided view saying that Africa had contributed nothing to world history. I was upset. Friends asked me how I could work on a paper which produced such a story.

In the meeting to discuss what was to be done about the story, I vehemently expressed my anger. Mostly though, I realize much of my anger was frustration and self-doubt. I wondered if others on the paper felt I should have written the story myself since I was complaining. Maybe I wasn't fulfilling my obligation, not playing my my role. This year I played that role, compiling a Black history quiz which ran in in the What Is to be Done? Should that have been my responsibility?

Coming out of that meeting, I wondered if my friends thought I would start censoring everything about race. That's the last thing I want to do.

What I want to do is walk the fine line between being a regular journalist and a journalist who is Black. I did not become a journalist to further the cause of Blacks. I don't want to be perceived only as a Black journalist. I want to be considered a competent journalist who just happens to be Black.