Fusion, Boozin' and Snoozin'

RESEARCHERS who sunk billions of dollars in hopes of producing energy by nuclear fusion must be kicking themselves. Until recently, conventional wisdom in the physics world had it that the only way to feasibly derive energy from a controlled fusion reaction was to subject hydrogen nuclei to extreme pressures and temperatures of millions of degrees.

Scientists at the University of Utah have apparently discovered a technique to create fusion reactions by a process simple enough to perform in a high school chem lab. The process, dubbed "cold fusion," is performed at room temperature using deuterium, an isotope of hydrogen found in sea-water.

The implications of cold fusion are enormous. The supply of deuterium is virtually limitless. Unlike ordinary fission reactors, a cold-fusion plant would produce very little radiation and no radioactive waste, and it wouldn't produce the chemical pollutants and greenhouse gasses created by burning coal and oil.

My science concentrator roommate assures me that, unlike the last dramatic physics breakthrough--superconductivity--cold fusion may see commercial applications in a few years rather than a few decades. Fusion-heated homes, fusion-generated electricity and fusion-powered cars could be the wave of the future.

One drawback to the process is that it requires electrodes made from the rare metal palladium, which is commonly used as a component of dental fillings. Palladium doesn't come cheap. Before the cold fusion breakthrough, it sold for about $5 million per ton, and the price is now rising.

But it's not so much the price of palladium that's troubling, though it would take in the neighborhood of $2 billion-worth to build a power plant. The real problem is who has it.

Brazil and Columbia have sizeable deposits of the stuff, but the largest supplies are in two other countries. One is the U.S.S.R. It doesn't take a foreign policy expert to squirm at the thought of being dependent on the Soviets for our energy supply.

But the real mother lode of the global palladium supply is South Africa. Those who find America's marriage of convenience with the oil-producing gulf states troubling should shudder at the prospect of cozy relations with the current South African regime.

South Africa's potential energy monopoly ought to be incentive for the U.S. increase the pressure for reform on the Pretoria government. Whether by democratic reform or violent revolution, South African Blacks are certain to eventually overthrow the apartheid regime. The last thing the U.S. needs is hostile relations with the people who could govern the fusion equivalent of Saudi Arabia.

Sex Appeal Dept: I used to have little respect for the makers of Johnny Walker scotch, a fair-to-good booze that has elevated itself to premium status (and price) through clever advertising campaigns.

The latest of these follows the time-honored maxim that you can sell anything to Americans if you can convince them that it will make them more sexually appealing. The most recent series of magazine ads shows a pair of beautiful men or women discussing the attractive aspects of their newest romantic prospect, especially his or her taste in scotch.

In one ad, a woman running on the beach tells her female companion, "He loves me for my mind. And, he drinks Johnny Walker."

The caption: "Good taste is always an asset."

Although I dislike in general advertising that appeals to sexual insecurity, I have to applaud the folks at Johnny Walker for the latest of the series, which ran in the April issue of The Atlantic Monthly. It follows the same format as its predecessors--two handsome men discussing the allure of a new sexual prospect. Except in this ad, they're referring to another man.

If sex sells, why not try for the 10 percent of the market that heterosexual appeals can't reach?

Core Lite Dept.: A word about The Liberal Boutique's favorite topic--Social Analysis 10. An anonymous Ec 10 section leader tells me that Prof. Martin S. Feldstein, not content to head one of Harvard's largest courses, is out to increase enrollment. "Marty thinks everyone should take it," he said.

But fear not, Feldstein doesn't intend to actually require students to take the course. No, my fellow rationally self-interested actors, that would result in less-than-optimal utility. The T.F. said that Feldstein is seeking suggestions on attracting people to Ec 10 of their own volition--with market incentives, as it were.

I suggest running video subtitles above Professor Larry B. Lindsey's head during his lectures--like in the Isuzu commercials.