Rose Doesn't Smell So Sweet

Charlie Hustle might be dancing his last cha-cha.

Cincinnati Reds manager Pete Rose is doing what no one in baseball thought would ever happen--grabbing the headlines from the Wade and Margo affair.

Baseball Commissioner Peter Ueberroth and Commissioner-elect A. Bartlett Giamatti revealed in a statement Monday that Rose is under investigation for alleged charges of gambling.

And this week's issue of Sports Illustrated reports that Rose might have gambled on baseball games in which he was involved. If the commissioner's office can prove that Rose did bet on baseball games, Rose might not be in baseball any longer.

Say it ain't so, Pete.

Pete Rose banned from baseball? The player who accumulated 4256 hits, hit .309 in his career and played a total of 3562 games? The main cog of the Big Red Machine of the 1970s?

Well, if it does happen, then don't expect Rose to enter the Hall of Fame.

Think it's unfair? Tell that to "Shoeless" Joe Jackson, one of baseball's greatest hitters, who was banned from the game after the 1918 Black Sox Scandal. Or Orlando Cepeda, a sure Hall of Famer--until he went to jail for drug possession.

The Hall of Fame without Charlie Hustle? It's a shame.

The top 10 jobs Barry Switzer should not apply for:

10. A guidance counselor.

9. The president of an Ivy League college.

8. Corollary to number nine: commissioner-elect of major league baseball.

7. President Bush's drug czar. (William Bennent is much more sensitive.)

6. A stand-up comic. (Think about it: "I just flew from the NCAA headquarters and boy, are my arms tired.")

5. Mayor of Miami. (He'd live too close to the Orange Bowl--a place he won't see for the next couple of years.)

4. A Saturday morning kiddie-show host. (Imagine this: "Hey, boys and girls, can you say 'numerous NCAA recruiting violations?'")

3. Afternoon talk-show host. (There are too many of them already.)

2. President of the NHL. (Wait a minute, this one belongs in the top 10 jobs Barry Switzer should apply for.)

1. Football coach of Oklahoma University. (You get the picture, Barry.)

Did you read Boston Globe columnist Leigh Montville yesterday? In his column on the Sweet 16, Montville made a strange comment on the Seton Hall men's basketball team.

"I was going to like Seton Hall, plucky little kids from New Jersey," Montville wrote, "until I found out that one of the pluckies was from Puerto Rico and another was from Australia..."

What does this mean, Leigh?

Someone knock out Mike Tyson really soon. Boxing's getting too boring.

Danny Ainge Watch: Monday night against the Charlotte Hornets, Ainge scored 20 points. The Kings lost, 117-110. Sacramento is 19-47, 27 games behind the Los Angeles Lakers in the Pacific Division. Wonder what would have happened to Ainge if Larry Bird didn't hurt his foot.

If you understood what Wade Boggs said Monday, you must know something the rest of us don't. Boggs said that he broke the "moral law," while Margo broke the "regular law." Okay.

And, finally, what ever happened to Richie Zisk?