College `Madness' Isn't Just in March

The NCAA basketball tournament has always been better than the Super Bowl. Better than the World Series. Better than the NBA Championships. Better than any bowl game.

March Madness is in a class by itself. Great college teams, great college players and great college sport.

This year, I haven't watched more than 10 minutes of tournament action. For the first time in six years, I'm not in a tournament pool.

Somehow, I am not excited about the teams in this tourney. Teams like Indiana, with Coach Bobby Knight--the man who thinks women should "lie back and enjoy" getting raped--and leading scorer Jay Edwards, a product of pre-season drug rehabilitation.

Then there is Syracuse and star forward Derrick Coleman, who has enough poise to sink a turnaround jumper with Alonzo Mourning staring down his throat, but can't control his fists outside a Syracuse bar.

It's too bad Colorado State dumped Florida in the first round. Just think, Coleman could have matched up against the Gators' Dwayne Schnitzius in round two. The Barroom Bruiser vs. Mr. Tennis Racket Attack.

But never fear, Coleman will be right in his element when he takes on control-less Missouri Friday. Tiger Coach number-one, Norm Stewart, threatened to beat up a St. Louis Post Dispatch reporter. Tiger Coach number-two, Rich Daly, allows the players to run roughshod over him--refusing to play, refusing to practice, laughing in his face and disparaging him to the press.

In other NCAA action, my options include Jim Valvano and North Carolina State, under investigation for an unending list of NCAA violations. Or I could tune in and catch the Sooners, with Mookie Blaylock--who likes to makes disturbances outside convenience stores--and Coach Billy Tubbs, who likes to make disturbances inside gymnasiums.

March Madness, it's called, but it doesn't have the same meaning anymore. It's certainly living up to the "madness" part. But the insanity started a little early this year--and it hasn't affected just basketball teams.

Blaylock looks like a saint next to the gridiron lineup in Norman, Okla. The football players remember enough plays to be one of the top teams in the nation. But they can't seem to remember little things like federal laws against rape, assault and battery.

Mug Shots

There's no need for the Colorado football team to pose for next year's program photos. Just call up the local police department and ask to borrow their mug shots. Post-college contracts? How about five-to-10 years for that upstart team in San Quentin? Terms non-negotiable, with a trade option in three years--if performance is up to standard.

I've even had a chance to see the new collegiate athletic image up-close-and-personal. I wandered down to Bright Center and watched the opposing coach make obnoxious gestures to the other bench. And then listened to him compare the officiating to a gang rape.

Next door, at Briggs Cage, I'm told a college basketball player kicked a chair into the stands and hit a spectator.

Nope, I don't think I'll watch much NCAA tournament action this year. I just can't appreciate Coleman's big plays anymore.

I already skipped the bowl games in January.

The World Series? We'll see.

There's Hope Yet

But I'll probably go back to Briggs Cage next winter to see athletes such as Harvard sophomore Ian Smith, who packs biology books with his Nikes and gives meaning to that first forgotten word in "student-athlete."

And I'll be back at Bright this weekend, watching the Harvard hockey team. The Crimson is the top-ranked squad in the nation, owning the best Division I record. But Coach Bill Cleary is more likely to compliment the players' attitudes and characters than their hockey abilities.

"More than a great hockey player, Lane MacDonald is a great individual," Cleary says of his captain.

MacDonald's being courted by the Hartford Whalers...and watched by the Hobey Baker committee. Money? Awards? That's not the main reason why he plays the game.

What is?

Three weeks ago, a little girl asked MacDonald for his autograph, pinched his cheeks, and told him he is "cute."

"That's what makes it fun," MacDonald said. "That's when you really enjoy playing the game."

Somebody call up Norman, Okla. The Sooners just might have the collegiate sports concept all wrong.