Reagan II: He's Back

LET'S take a quiz.

Question One: Who created a bigger stir when he went to Japan?

(a) President George Bush

(b) Former President Ronald Reagan

Question Two: Whose wife appeared on the cover of last week's Newsweek?

(a) President George Bush

(b) Former President Ronald Reagan

JUST when historians thought it was safe to contemplate the legacy of Ronald Reagan, he's back--and he's healthier, he's richer, and his wife is still rude.

A year ago, opponents of Reagan's presidency said that Reagan's legacy would be the burgeoning federal budget deficit, regression on civil rights, the right-wing tilt of federal courts and our deteriorating environment--in short, the destruction of America's future.

This opponent has a slight problem with that proposition. A legacy implies a historical perspective. When he left office, Reagan was supposed to leave the limelight and enjoy profound conversations by his poolside in Bel Air. Historians could judge, and journalists could cover the new President.

Eastern Europe is aching, San Francisco is quaking, and George Bush is still standing in Reagan's shadow. As Bush struggles to respond to sweeping historical events that seem to pass him by, Reagan keeps creeping back into view.

What's worse, Reagan demonstrates that former Presidents aren't just more popular than sitting Presidents; they get paid more.

BUT don't think that Reagan doesn't actually deserve all the news coverage.

Ronald Reagan has been paid $2 million in honoraria by a Japanese business. His expense-paid trip to Japan included a couple of speeches and many more meals. Sure, Reagan possesses the dignity of his former office. But it's for sale to the highest bidder. (And Japanese business has deep pockets.)

But wait, there's more.

Wife Nancy continues to make Leona Helmsley seem as good-natured as your Aunt Libby. My Turn, the long awaited tell-nothing autobiography of the woman who "shared a bed with the President" is finally being released. Thank God. I'll need something to tide me over between Roseanne Barr's memoirs and Zsa-Zsa Gabor's sure-to-be-published account of her incarceration.

In Nancy's book, we, too can learn how to make astrology work for us. But that's about all. Want to know if Nancy had too much power in setting Reagan's agenda? Want to know why she was so obsessed with her husband's image? Or why she backed out of supporting a drug-treatment clinic when local residents objected to the facility? Don't buy the book, because you won't find out.

But don't leave yet, the show's just beginning.

Former Admiral John Poindexter was just granted permission to use the ex-president's personal papers to prove that Reagan authorized several arms-for-hostages deals. Poindexter wants to prove that he did not initiate the Iran-Contra fiasco. Who did? Wait for the Reagan Diaries.

Can we start assessing the damage yet?

No, wait, there's still Secretary Samuel Pierce and the HUD scandal. Savings and loans continue to hemorrhage red ink. And after 10 years of investigation, the Wedtech scandal has finally put Edwin Meese-chum Robert Wallach behind bars.

I USED to think the final credits were rolling for the Reagan Horror Picture Show. But thanks to a few unresolved scandals and the Reagans' unwillingness to retire into obscurity, devoted fans needn't go through the troublesome process of repealing the 22nd Amendment.

Just when I thought it was safe to read the front page...