From the Barnyards of SLU to the Gates of Troy

ECAC Towns are spread from upstate New York to downstate New Jersey, to the big cities (Boston, Providence) to towns barely bigger than a hockey rink (Canton, N.Y., Hamilton, N.Y.)

Each place, however, has its own things to offer, whether it be food, music or hockey.

What follows is a list of all that is exciting (and unexciting) about the ECAC world.

Best Scorebord: Vermont. Everything but a world weather map makes its way onto UVM's giant scoreboard.

Most Annoying P.A. Announcer: Colgate. He's a set-up man for the crowd. Announcer: "Harvard now returns to full strength..." Crowd: "...and they still suck."

Coldest Rink: Bright Center. The temperature at the Boston Zoo's polar bear area went dangerously high recently. The bears headed straight for Bright.

Hottest Rink: RPI. Best simulation of the Tropics.

Most Boring Name for a Rink: Army's Multi-Purpose Sports Facility. The Army was going to name it A Place Where Cadets Participate in Athletics, but someone got inspired.

Most Out-of-the-Way Place: Any town in upstate New York. Take a right. Keep going. Going. Going. Gone.

Best Mascot: Clarkson's Golden Knight. Got lost looking for the Holy Grail. Wound up in upstate New York.

Worst Mascot: RPI's Bee. An escapee from the Bumble Bee Tuna Factory.

Best Press Gate Reps: Army. Go right on in, soldier.

Worst Press Gate Reps: Princeton. Bring your passport.

Most Ill-Tempered Coach: Colgate's Terry Slater. After a loss, Slater looks like he got out of bed, fell down the stairs, out the door and into a heavy downpour. When Slater goes home after a loss, he doesn't kick the dog, he burns the doghouse.

Nicest Coach: SLU's Joe Marsh. Win, place or show, Marsh is always agreeable. It probably helps that he wins most of the time.

Best Band: Cornell. The Big Red can play the blues.

Worst band: SLU. A lone trumpet player came to Bright in January and played a lonely solo of "When the Saints Go Marching In." If this fella was the act, everyone would have been marching out.

Most Original Band: Clarkson. The Knight band comes with electric guitarist. How 'bout a little Hendrix to start the game?

Best Food: Vermont. We wanted homemade pasta and we got it. We wanted hot bagels and we got them, too. Vermont even came equipped with Cool Ranch Doritos and orange juice. Burlington is a place where your appetite never goes unsatisfied.

Best ECAC Town: Vermont. Burlington is a yuppie's delight. The streets are clean. The cars are clean. The people look clean. Rumor has it that Mr. Clean lives in a cottage off Lake Champlain.

Best Popcorn: Colgate. One buck will get you one large bucket of popcorn. It's so good Orville Reddenbachker has been rumored to be offering his first-born child for the recipe. Money, however, goes to the Colgate's men's lacrosse team.

Worst Press Box: Yale. It looks like a pub out of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest." The stools are squeaky, the space is small and you spend the whole night hoping no one will steal your notes.

Best Press Box: Vermont. Beatifully overhanging the ice, this press box gives you a great view of the game at a distance where you don't have to worry about getting whacked by a puck. But you get to see some great hockey.

Most Exciting Fans: Vermont, SLU. They cheer. They give standing ovations. They appreciate good hockey.

Most Tasteless Fans: Colgate. When Crimson freshman John Weisbrod was hurt up in Hamilton, N.Y., the Raider fans started a count down, like a boxing referee.

10, nine, eight...one. Knockout. It was uncalled for.

Most Tasteless, but Exciting Fans: Cornell. Hands down, Lynah Rink is one big party. The fans do the newspaper bit, the fish bit, the sexual object bit, the chicken bit. They do it all. Even call Coach Bill Cleary bald.