Arena Football: Players in Search of a

If Oliver North can break his silence so can I. I've decided that, for the betterment of mankind and the future welfare of this country, I should speak out against the latest thing to hit stadiums.

You guessed it--Arena football.

While it hurts to admit it, I've watched Arena football three times. The first time was just to get an idea of what this new action-packed league (the advertising commercial said so) is all about.

The second time was to make sure that it was as bad a I thought it was. It was.

The third time was to make sure that I would never watch it again.

Arena football emphasizes versatility, with the players playing both offense and defense. This is obviously the league for someone like Holy Cross' Gordie Lockbaum, who plays both offense and defense for the Crusaders.

There are four 17-man teams, representing Denver, Chicago, Pittsburgh and Washington. The choice of cities was the one good move made by the Arena people; all of them eat, drink and sleep football.

Unfortunately, the curiosity probably be gone by the end of the first season, and the new league will probably disappear as fast as the United States Football League.

The Arena league made a good decision in not trying to compete with the National Football league; however, in trying to differentiate itself from the NFL, it went to extremes with some of its rules.

One of the most ludicrous things about it is that the field is 50 yards long and 26 yards wide. The field is just a little longer that a carpeted hockey rink.

But there is a bright stop linked to the shortness of the field. If you're one of those unlucky fans who always winds up with tickets at the 25-yard line at a Dallas Cowboys or New York Giants game (where real football takes place), then the Arena league is for you.

However, one wonders if a ticket at the midfield line is compensation enough for sitting through two hours of boredom.

I think the best seat for an Arena football game is in your living room. At least that way you can always change the channel.

Tonight Washington and Denver will face off at 9 p.m. (all Arena games are only on ESPN). But if you're trying to decide between the game and the Business Report on Channel 44, pick the report. Why? Because it's juts as exciting, and far more interesting.

The first time I watched Arena football I was totally shocked. I couldn't believe it when I saw Denver Quarterback Stuart Mitchell (a Cornell alumnus) throw the ball 10 feet into the net over his receiver's head. But what really surprised me was that the receiver and the defending cornerback both tried to catch the ball off the net behind the endzone.

This situation should be called to the attention of Baseball Commissioner Pete Ueberroth. Just imagine all the games that the Houston Astros (or any team) could have won if its catcher was allowed to catch foul balls off the net behind home plate.

Naw, that wouldn't work--baseball's a real sport.

Luckily, the announcers explained that the net can put the ball back in play on kicks and pass attempts. This must have been one of those last-minute decision in the boardroom.

Arena football is supposed to speed the game up by keeping the clock running until the last minute of play. Now, the only drawback with the running clock is that the teams have 40 seconds to get the ball into play, which often leaves the players standing around with nothing to do.

A couple of elements that were supposed to make the game more exciting are exclusive man-to-man defense, and a live ball following missed field goals. No comments.

I'm not sure that anything could save Arena football. However, being a person with many ideals, maybe Arena football would be a little better if the announcers were a litter more interesting, or if they bothered to get the rules down pat.

During halftime of the third and last game that I watched, I decided to call two of my friends (Kevin and Shawn, both fellow Houstonians) to get their opinion on this new, action-packed league.

Upon reaching them, I had to wait five minutes before they stopped laughing at the fact that I had watched the whole first half--then we started to analyze the longevity of the league.

After several minutes, we came to three sound conclusions. First, the league is probably here to stay because it can only be seen on cable. Second, the Canadian Football League (which also plays a summer season) is in Canada. Third, it will take at least a year to understand Arena football.

When the second half started, Shawn and Kevin were more interested in discussing why Ivan Lendl had failed to win Wimbledon for the second straight year.

Several times I had to remind them that we were talking about Arena football. They simply asked, why?

If you are interested in high-scoring games, then Arena football is your sport--the teams are scoring more than 45 points at will.

There are definitely fans out there for the first three weeks of Arena football. Each team is averaging more 9000 fans per game. The players in the league probably aren't in it for the money; they receive $500 dollars a game.

I have no doubt that someone else will come up with yet another football league in the near future. In the meantime, if you're interested in being bored or watching a miniature football game, then Arena football is for you. It's definitely not for me.