The Burdens of a Tough Job

(Scene opens on a lone figure, Harvard hockey Coach Bill Cleary, pacing the mushy ice of Bright Center in late August. Cleary is contemplating the upcoming 1987-'88 Crimson season. He's smiling.)

A voice: "Job?...Job?...I mean, Billy? Billy Cleary?"

Cleary (looking up): "Hello?"

Voice: "Billy?"

Cleary: "Mom?"

Voice: "No, no, it's God."

Cleary: "Oh, hey God, what's up?"

Voice: "It's about this season..."

Cleary: "Yah, I was just thinking about it. It's going to be great. We've got Allen Bourbeau and Lane MacDonald, our top two scorers coming back. Our first line is going to be the best in the league."

Voice: "About Bourbeau and MacDonald..."

Cleary: "Huh?"

Voice: "They won't be playing for you this year."

Cleary: "Huh?"

Voice: "They're playing for the Olympic Team."

Cleary: "What?"

Voice: "You know I love the stars and stripes, even more than I love Harvard. I'm looking forward to beating those damn Commies, and Bourbeau and MacDonald can help me do it. So I'm taking them for the good ol' U.S.A."

Cleary: "I see. Okay, okay. That's tough. That'll make it a little hard. Well, at least we got Chris Biotti. He's a big guy. And he's really improving as a defenseman. He should be a real team leader this year."

Voice: "About Chris..."

Cleary: "Huh?"

Voice: "I...ugh...had to send him to the pros."

Cleary: "What?"

Voice: "He was just too big for the college ranks. A guy like that should be playing in the NHL. So, I put him on the first bus to Calgary."

Cleary: "You did what?"

Voice: "He's gone, Billy, gone."

Cleary: "Gone?"

Voice: "Gone."

Cleary: "Ugh. That makes it twice as tough. Oh, boy, it does terrible things to the hair line. Which reminds me of a joke. What do you call a bunch of rabbits walking backward? A receding hare line. Ha, ha, ha.

Okay, Okay, let me think. We lost seven seniors from last year. Some good players, too, like Tim Barakett and Dickie McEvoy. Real experience there. Real hard to lose those guys. But we've got a bunch of good kids coming in as freshmen. Heck, we've got a great player in Scott Barringer, a kid from Belmont Hill, my alma matter. He should pick up some of the scoring slack."

Voice: "Geez, Bill, I hate to disappoint you again..."

Cleary: "Let me guess. Let me just imagine. He's not coming to Harvard. Okay, he didn't really want to give Harvard a shot. So where is he going? Where is the worst possible place for him? Where would he do the most harm? Let me think...I know, I know, you sent him to Boston College. The hated Eagles have him. The bunch of bruisers who beat us in the Beanpot consolation game last year--by scoring a goal after the gun had gone off. You gave him to B.C., didn't you?"

Voice: "I must say you've gotten very astute in your 16 years as coach here. You nailed it right on the head. Of course, I should expect this of a Harvard man."

Cleary: "God, you can't do this."

Voice: "There's more."

Cleary: "More? How much more?"

Voice: "Just a little more. Oh look, Billy, you don't have to turn red."

Cleary: "I'm not red, I'm purple. But go on...I can take it. I hope."

Voice: "Eddie Krayer, the second line center who took a semester off in the middle of last season. Remember him?"

Cleary: "He's coming back soon. Right?"

Voice: "Wrong. He won't be back for this season."

Cleary: "I see."

Voice: "Nick Carone, the guy with the wild sticks and the gutsy play in the corners. The guy who played in all but one game last year. The Crimson enforcer. Remember?"

Cleary: "Sure. Sure."

Voice: "Gone. He's taking a year off."

Cleary: "Oh my God...that's you, buddy. What are you doing to my Crimson?"

Voice: "Just teaching you a bit of humility. Your team got just a little bit too cheerful after winning the ECAC Tournament last year. As the Bible says, `It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.'''

Cleary: "That's Dickens, God."

Voice: "Oh..you're quite right. Anyway, this will be a bit of test for you. See how you manage without the loaves and fishes."

Cleary: "The what?"

Voice: "Just a Biblical metaphor for great hockey players."

Cleary: "Clever. So, does this mean I won't get my NCAA Championship?"

Voice: "Probably not this year."

Cleary: "And...how 'bout my Beanpot?"

Voice: "Maybe, Job...I mean Billy, just maybe."