THE BEST OF 1986

From Playboy Magazine's "Women of the Ivy League" issue to Harvard's splashy 350th celebration, it was an unusually unusual year for the University community in 1986. Here's a tongue-in-cheek review of some of the year's best kept secrets:

Worst Defender of Free Speech

In his parting speech before the Undergraduate Council, departing Chairman Brian C. Offutt '87 suggested that the council get involved in entrepreneurial ventures--like helping out the Harvard Independent, which he said was in a "troubled state" financially.

Offutt proposed subsidizing the Indy in exchange for free space in the campus weekly. In an unusual editorial in the next day's Indy, President David E. Yarowsky '87 said there was no merit to Offutt's claim.

Best Defender of Free Speech

Then there was the Divinity School student who mutilated himself on the steps of the State House earlier this fall. Erwin L. Rupert II pierced his chest with wooden skewers in a ritual act to show support for four Vietnam veterans fasting in Washington D.C.

After performing the bizarre rite on Beacon Hill, Rupert said, "There's a little blood and pain...but no risk."

Still, It's a Remarkable Likeness

On October 8, the University planted a New Jersey-grown tree in Harvard Yard to commemorate the 15th year of Derek C. Bok's presidency. Pencil-thin, the young sapling had a mere seven leaves on its tender branches.

"It's balder than [Bok] is," said one irreverent freshman, Robyn Fass '90 of Canaday Hall.

You Really Didn't Mean That, Did You?

Harvard football Captain Scott Collins '87, after the gridders won The Game, 24-17: "It's not an Ivy title, and I wouldn't say it makes up for the rest of the year, but it's definitely a great way to go out." Collins missed the contest with a knee injury suffered the week before at Penn.

"Let Them Eat Cake" Quote of 1986

"It's not every day you meet a prince," said Cristina V. Coletta '87, co-organizer of the undergraduate 350th celebration about the impending visit of Charles, Prince of Wales. "It certainly is a shame that more students will not be able to meet him personally.

"It's up to the 350th Office to preselect if they feel that choosing people with whom the Prince would have something in common will make his visit more enjoyable," said Coletta, who did get to meet His Royal Highness.

The "Do As I Say, Not As I Do" Award

...this year goes to Domenic M. Bozzotto, president of the Hotel and Restaurant Workers Local 26, who vociferously protests the University's continued holdings in South Africa-related stocks.

By the way, it was learned that the pension fund Bozzotto oversees for the union had several grand invested in companies doing business with the apartheid state.

A Compatriot of Mr. Bennet, We Presume?

Nobel Prize-winning economist John Kenneth Galbraith, speaking at a Winthrop House dinner commemorating Harvard's 350th anniversary, recalled his days as a tutor during here during the 1930s. Galbraith cited one wild party in Winthrop in which a drunken student dove three stories from his C-entry room and died. "There was great enjoyment of sex, alcohol and leisure," the former ambassador to India said with great candor.

Get This Man a Weatherman's Contract

Thomas W. Stephenson '37, organizer of the 350th, told the Crimson in September that he was prepared for any inclement weather on Harvard's big birthday bash. "Short of a hurricane, everything would have to go right ahead. But if there was a hurricane nearby I'd know--I've been watching pretty closely."

How 'bout a Restrictive Tariff on Soccer Players, Too

Duke All-America forward John Kerr, after he lead the Blue Devils to a 3-1 victory over Harvard's men's soccer team in the NCAA semifinals, said: "It's a tremendous feeling, but not just for ourselves. This was also for the Duke community and American soccer. We played against all these foreigners imported to play soccer, and we proved a point."

Ten of the 18 players on the Crimson roster hail from outside the country.

"...And House Committee Funds Were Diverted to the Contras"

When Adams House changed its policy for smoking in the dining hall--limiting smoking to just four tables--students immediately suspected a plot underfoot. Students charged that the restrictive policy was covertly aimed at reducing the number of interhouse diners who smoke.

"[Students] used to come in at [5:40 p.m.] and stay until 7:30 p.m. Now they don't linger," said dining hall checker Barbara McCarthy.

But Adams House Senior Tutor Marshall Hyatt countered the common opinion. "If we decide to cut down on interhouse meals, we would be up front about it. We wouldn't do it in the guise of smoking."

They Didn't Take Over University Hall in '69, Either

College officials expressed dismay last September when they discovered that a 50-year old papier-mache replica of John Harvard was destroyed after the 350th ball. "I must assume that it wasn't a Harvard student who did it," Dean of Students Archie C. Epps III said about the beheading of J.H.

The Ultimate in Insider Information

Marshall I. Goldman, associate director of the Russian Research Center, said he would root for the Red Sox in the 1986 World Series. "The Reds always win," said the noted Kremlinologist.

Did Vinny Testaverde Really Have a 3-7 Season?

When a professor rescheduled Economics 1011a "Microeconomics" from a 2:30 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. slot to 8:30 a.m. in order to accomodate student-athletes enrolled in the class, applied math major Paul L. Suh '87 was steaming mad. "What is this--the Ivy League or the University of Miami?" he asked in reference to the concession made to football players.

My Body, Myself

One-time Playboy model Jocelyn L. Morin '87, of Mather House, on why she used her real name in the "Women of the Ivy League" issue last September: "My tits are more personal than my name. And I didn't want to waste an alias."

"Really, Your Honor--Our Computer Ate It!!"

Officials inadvertently destroyed tenure deliberation records that a U.S. District Court judge ordered Harvard to produce in a sex discrimination suit filed against the University.

"Some papers were destroyed in the routine processing of old files," explained Harvard's Deputy General Counsel Martin Michaelson, who characterized the problem as an "administrative slip-up."