Drinks, Anyone?

Water

Directed by Dick Clement

At the Orson Welles and the USA Copley Place

WATER IS A very funny movie. It is also a really dumb flick. The laughter produced is greatest when the gags are the most idiotic. The audience guffaws amidst cries of "How stupid!"

It's a shame that George Harrison's Handmade Films, which had become a trademark for quality silliness like Time Bandits or the darker Brazil, should sink to almost pre-Vaudevillian gags in Water. Then again, when the audience is laughing out loud, we often forget to hang on to the story line.

Water is a plotless wonder that vaguely whirlpools around the trials and tribulations of the people of Cascara, a mythical last remnant of the British Empire that the British would be only too happy to get rid of. Michael Caine is the colonial governor, sincerely concerned with the welfare of the people and his ganja crop. Brenda Vaccaro is the governor's Guatemalan wife with an unsavory past and personality. She doesn't get an "A" for originality with her Charo imitation and dialogue.

Trouble with the predictably absurb complications sets in when a played-out oil rig on the island strikes mineral water, i.e., Perrier. Now suddenly everyone wants Cascara. Michael Caine must save the island for the islanders against the designs of the great powers. He aligns himself with the island's only two revolutionaries, and attempts a desperate showdown against the forces of oppression, culminating in a benefit concert at the UN featuring Eric Clapton, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr. Make sense?

In accordance with the laws of equal representation, this film picks on everyone. Most of the nations of Western Europe, the United States, the leaders of above nations, capitalists. Marxist revolutionaries, Live Aid, and yuppies are among the targets selected. This buck shot method of comedy provides no focus, but throw out enough gags, and some of them are bound to stick.

How utterly stupid are the gags? The Cascara national anthem is accompanied by swimstrokes since most of the inhabitants are descended from shipwreck victims. Jimmy Walker (trivial persuit: remember J.J. of "Dyno-mite" fame?) does weather report on a tropical island. "It's hot!" he cries. The lead revolutionary sings all his lines to a reggae beat. Valerie Perrine reaches in Michael Caine's pocket for his lighter and instead grabs...Well, you get the idea.

But the famous line of failed jokesters, "you had to be there," applies to this film. Yes, the gags are stupid, but they are funny as well. Not four, bucks worth of laughter perhaps (it's difficult ever to laugh away a six pack), but for a matinee maybe. Catch Water some afternoon before it sinks, a time probably not far off.