Don't Point the Finger at Me

YESTERDAY I WOKE up a little early, I think around 11:30 a.m. and walked into my common room and turned on "The Prize is Right." That's the best show on T.V.. I swear, the prizes are the greatest. After the showcase, I put on my Toronto Blue Jays baseball hat and Dillon sweats, (Those sweats are so stylish their great.) and went to lunch at the Kirkland Dining Hall.

I sitted down and, like, all my buddies were talkin real loud and fast, like they were excited or mad or somethin. "Did you see the article `Pointing the Big Finger' in the Crimson?" someone asked me. Great, another story about are great hockey season.

So I pick up the paper right, I sees a picture of the crowd at the arena. What a picture! Then I gives the article to my roommate to read to me. He starts readin' right, and its a story about us, the Hockey Team. Man sum guy was real, real ticked off at us.

At first I thought it was because he thought the last goal was my fault. No way I was screened! Ask Tim Smith number 3, he knows that's the reason. He saw the picture in Sports Illustrated and says i was definitely screened. Besides he never lies just ask his three girlfriends!

My roommate, the football star, reads me half of it and goes up to get another sandwich. The pig is always eatin'. I swear he'd eat the plate if he could. So I finish lunch right and take the paper and go out the door.

So now I gotta go to work but I still have to read the other half of the article. So I go up to "The Pro" and grab a six to go to my job at the athletic facilities, its real tough. If the phone rings I gotta get up and find someone to answer it. Anyway it least it pays real good--about 12 bucks an hour.

Anyway I got 5 hours to kill, so I figure I could read da article and have my roommate explain the parts to me I couldn't figger out. I read it right, but theirs a lot of big words and it was just too long for me and too boring, so I just went to sleep.

At 6:00 I go to dinner and then I go to my QRA sectionn. I'm real nervous and sweatin right because we're gettin our mid-terms back. Alright, I got a C-! (Is that a high C-ratio Chuck?) anyways, I go back to my room for our nightly quarters game that we have every night. That's somethin' that I'm really good at.

So I'm sluggin back the brews right and my fat roommates killin me tonite and he tells me the guy who wrote the story is mad because he thinks athletes get special attention at Byerly Hall. Hey that's great, I think, because I never knew that Byerly Hall was an athletic facility. Hey we can go their and work out because they'll treat us real good and give us special attention.

Well, Chuck, remember, I'm the Class of 1986 (I hope), and I'm number 29 in the Harvard Hockey program, and believe it or not, I'm going to get the same sheepskin as your gettin' because my pre-med defenseman Butch Cutone told me so, so there! But I really want to be on the next cover of Science Weekly, not Sports Illustrated.

Grant A. Blair '86 is a member of the Harvard men's hockey team. He responds to an article in yesterday's Crimson by Charles T. Kurzman.