An Uncertain Clarinet

The Lady and the Clarinet Written by Michael Cristofer Directed by Paula Plum At the New Ehrlich Theatre in Boston through March 22nd

WHAT THE NEW Ehrlich Theatre's production of The Lady and the Clarinet needs is a big dose of Tylenol.

Presented as a series of reminiscences, The Lady and the Clarinet centers around the character of Luba (Elissa Forsythe), a woman unable to find happiness in her love life as she looks back at her three most important romantic involvements. The play begins with the entrance of the clarinet player (Darryl Durham), a musician whom Luba has hired to provide background music for a dinner date at her apartment. Throughout the play, the clarinet player functions as a low-budget, on-stage orchestra to help fill in the many slow moments. The musician also does double duty as a backdrop against which Luba can bounce her seemingly endless monologues. She rushes on in a black negligee to prepare for the arrival of her date; but as he is late she passes the time by relating the saga of her life. Since the play ends with the date's arrival, I would say that Lady's overall message is a plea for punctuality.

After an interminable period of forgettable bantering--to which the clarinet player says nothing but only smiles or nods occasionally--Luba confesses that there have really only been three men in her life, and we arrive at the meat of the play. As she begins to reminisce about Paul, the young man with whom she lost her virginity, the doorbell rings. Surprise, surprise: we are now witnessing a reenactment of the fateful event.

David Frisch as Paul does a passable job of conveying the confusion and heartache of postpubescent romance, becoming more engrossed in his role as the scene progresses. Forsythe, however, seems wholly incapable of playing a teenager. The effect is somewhat ridiculous, as it appears that an adult woman is begging a self-conscious youth to initiate her into womanhood. In addition, the scene is so devoid of real emotion that by its conclusion one has to wonder why Luba has included Paul as one of the important men in her life.

The next lover in the lineup is Jack, a married man who is torn between his responsibilities to Luba, to his family, and to his job. Brian Howe injects the role with much needed energy and sincerity. Despite the patently absurd situation in which his character finds himself, Howe presents Jack as a highly believable and sympathetic fellow. He also is also very, very funny. Jack's outrageous telephone calls home are undeniably the high point of the play. In fact, Brian Howe truly outclasses the rest of the cast, not only in energy but also in his breadth of emotion. In fact, the Jack/Luba scene could stand by itself and still be a more worthwhile production than The Lady and the Clarinet as a whole. Unfortunately, the slothlike pacing of the rest of the play also plagues this scene, and too much of a good thing eventually begins to wear on the audience.

WITHOUT SHEDDING TOO many tears, Jack finally leaves, as he inevitably must, since there is one more name on the bill, and we are presented with the story of Luba's marriage to George. Richard Snee has a difficult job in this role: to keep the audience awake in a play that has already run too long. He has a few things working for him--including strong delivery of a few funny lines--but a lot more working against him. The chief enemy of this scene is the dullness of the character; George is an older man whose only amusement is to keep house and go grocery shopping, and that premise runs dry quickly.

After George's departure (Luba is keeping the house too clean) we return once more to the present, as Luba despairs of her date ever arriving. She yammers on a bit longer, talking about her hopes for the future, the need to break free of the past, and so on, until finally the doorbell rings. The lights dim as, lo and behold, the (hopefully) new man in her life appears and embraces her as the lights dim for the last time. Unfortunately, the New Ehrlich Theatre seems to be somewhat low on performers, for the actor who appears is the same who played Jack. Thus the fact that Luba is entering a new phase is generally lost on the audience, who may think that she has returned to lover number two.

The two performers who spend the bulk of the play on stage, Durham and Forsythe, are both barely adequate for their roles. Durham plays melodiously, but his repertoire is too limited for the length of the production (just under two hours). Forsythe lacks the emotional range that the role of Luba calls for; she is also ill-equipped to handle the artificial monologues. She should be given credit, however, for keeping her energy up throughout the entire marathon.

One final complaint: the quality of the sets is abysmal. No matter how hard up for cash a theatre company may be, the use of tinfoil should absolutely be held to a minimum. The only thing tinfoil does for a set is to yell "I am cheap!" Also, it ought to be suggested to the New Ehrlich that they hire a carpenter who can make a table balance on four legs instead of three. The production wobbles enough as it is.