Dartmouth Review Calls Brown "Immoral"

Just weeks after Brown students voted on a referendum to impeach President Ronald Reagan, the arch-conservative Dartmouth Review has proposed booting Brown University from the Ivy League.

The Review stated three reason for the proposed Bruin expulsion: Brown's "New Curriculum," it "immorality," and Brown students "self and national hatred," the Brown Daily Herald reported.

Inviting students to vote for the Brown's expulsion, the Review also gave readers the option to "force feed the student protesters with their silly cynanide pills."

The Review called Brown's curriculum a disgrace because it "has only one required course, in Third World studies." Brown does not have a Third World studies requirement, but the Review has traditionally opposed minority activism at its New Hampshire campus.

Brown is "highly immoral," according to the Review, because "Ivy League prostitutes are a disgrace. Brown University, by everyone's definition is the Ivy League brothel."

The Review also cited Brown students' hatred for themselves and for the United States. "To privilege [Brown] with membership in the Ivy League is to foster values antithetical to human and national decency."

The anti-Brown proposal graced the Review's humor page, and nobody took the whole thing too seriously, according to Dartmouth students.

In the past, the Review has more seriously advocated controversial positions ranging from the rein-statement of the Indian as Dartmouth's official mascot, to the installment of a core curriculum.