Where the Minors Are Better Than the Majors

It's that special time of year again. The leaves change, the air turns colder, the days grow shorter and young men's thoughts turn to football. Visions of game-winning touchdown passes dance in students' heads.

Crimson fans have been disappointed this season--since the varsity eleven has failed to tally a point in its last three games--but there's still an alternative.

Are you desperately seeking a satisfying gridiron experience?

Are you desperately seeking an end to cliched football?

Try intramural football.

This year's house league offers a little bit of everything for frustrated rooters: controversy, dominating squads, and for those USFL fans out there, team mergers.

Perhaps the most important development in house play this year has been a new rule mandating that each squad consist of at least 15 players. That dictum has lead to the merger of the Adams and Mather squads and of the Eliot and Lowell teams--and has resulted in the formation of a Currier House team for the first time in years.

The birth of the Currier squad should shake up the standings this year, thanks to a pair of Currier seniors, quarterback Dan Sullivan and split end Woody McMillan. Last year, when Currier was squad-less, house residents were free agents and could play for whomever they chose.

Sullivan and McMillan, two of the league's best players, drove Quincy's passing attack all the way to the 1985 Championship game. But now, the golden two will be airing out the ball for their own team and wreaking havoc on defensive backfields around the league.

The pair expresses some regret at having lost their free agency, however. Last year, "we got a lot of perks," McMillan says. "It was kind of like being recruited all over again."

In an effort to woo the duo, houses offered everything from "a case of beer to various other 'social unmentionables,'" McMillan says with a laugh.

"It would have been nice to play for Quincy," he continues. "I can't say there's not a part of me deep down in my heart that still belongs to them." Sullivan agrees: "We're bumming. But Currier got a team together this year, so we went with it."

But other Currierites don't seem too upset. "A lot of players didn't want to play for anybody but Currier," says team Captain Bill Corbett '88. "It's more of a community thing. We have some really big linemen who will play this year."

Sullivan enthusiastically issues a warning to his old teammates: "Now that we're playing for Currier, Quincy is going down! And Cabot-North, the defending champs--we're going to get them too! And you can print that!"

"I'm bumming," was Quincy Captain Paul Gaffney's oh-so-familiar response upon hearing of the defection. "I'm going to have to scout their games now," the junior adds.

Meanwhile, down by the river, Adams and Mather joined forces because neither had enough players to field a team of its own. "Surprisingly, it's worked out really well," says Adams-Mather Captain Buddy Fletcher '87. "Mather brought a lot of excellent linemen, while we have some good players in the skill positions."

"There's been no dissension," Fletcher continues, "and no coup attempts."

The Adams team has decided to alter its style a bit, though. "Our strategy last year was to be creative in our approach," says Fletcher, the team's quarterback. "Most teams, when they call audibles, say 'Red! 21!' But I called 'Red! Shuttle Bus!' which the Cabot-North team found interesting."

"After the play starts, they'd grab hold of me and show me what they thought of my audibles," he adds.

Squads from Eliot and Lowell have also linked up for the first time this year. Although players from each team claim that the other guys initiated the merger, there is little doubt that the move was necessary.

"We only scored one touchdown all last year," sighs Lowell's Bill McEwen '88, "and that was in a 6-0 victory over Eliot."

Although to score some points would be nice, Eliot's Ed Nekritz '87 says his squad is "just going out to have fun--to do some hitting and rough it up on the gridiron a bit."

Sartorial Horror

The biggest disappointment for Quincy, other than the loss of Sullivan and McMillan, has been the team's inability to buy new uniforms. And that's a big deal in intramural sports.

"Our uniforms are ugly, and everybody knows it," Gaffney says. "We don't know who picked out these hideous colors [red and gold], but we need new ones. Whoever runs the intramurals has drastically reduced the budget this year."

"Now we have to go the Oracle of Delphi and sacrifice three vestal virgins for new shirts, and five if we want to choose the color," Gaffney adds. "It's not worth it." (Neither "the people who run the intramurals" nor the oracle was available for comment at the time this article went to press.)

All kidding aside, every league must have its dominating teams and epic struggles. And one of the year's big showdowns occurred yesterday when Leverett demolished defending champion Cabot-North, 20-0.

"I finally learned what it's like to be on the opposite side from where we were last year," moans Cabot-North Captain John Black '86-87. "Leverett's the team to beat."

Leverett, which boasts several ex-varsity gridders, seems pretty confident, and is already looking forward to a match-up against Yale's intramural champion.

"We have incentive to do well this year--we want to beat up on some Bulldogs," says Leverett junior Fred King. "That's what we're working for."

Above all, intramurals provide action not usually witnessed in other football leagues.

While referees for varsity contests may not be as proficient as some would like, few have ever caught a pass while on duty, as did one intramural ref during Leverett's match yesterday.

"Cabot-North was running a crossing pattern over the middle," relates King, when the ball was thrown right at the umpire. "He caught it, and turned a shade of red like I'd never seen before. We were all laughing, but North didn't think it was too funny."

Especially since, after the loss, the downtrodden defenders had to catch that Red! Shuttle Bus! back to the Quad.