Super Bowl Bound

Ah, the sweet smell of victory.

The pungent aroma of squished, decaying fish. The olfactory stimulation of rotting marine organisms.

The New England Patriots borrowed Irving Fryar's ginsu knife on Sunday and turned the Dolphins into a mess of sushi.

So when the Pats emerged from the Orange Bowl with a stunning 31-14 triumph, they became winners. For the first time in their painful history, the Patriots earned the respect that is reserved for champions.

And the Dolphins surprised more than a few viewers by showing what a bunch of crybabies they really are. Mark Duper threw his helmet on the ground like some 10-year-old brat who needed a slap--and I mean a real slap, not one like that wimpy love-tap that Miami's Fuad Whatever gave to the Pats' Don Blackmon.

Most unsettling of all, the great Dan Marino whined and pouted and finally gave up in the final minutes, throwing a series of half-hearted wounded ducks.

Why did the Dolphins act like such spoiled losers? Because they were supposed to win. Miami is supposed to get the calls. Miami is supposed to go to the Super Bowl. After all, the Dolphins are traditional winners, right?

Well, that's exactly why the Patriots' victory is good for football. The same old teams are not supposed to win all the time. The best team is supposed to win. And the Patriots are the best team in the AFC.

But they are probably not the best team in the NFL. Yet.

The Bears are a big, bruising bunch, and their swarming defense may give the inexperienced Pats some serious trouble.

Yet I give the Patriots a fighting chance. For three straight weeks, the underdog Pats have played on alien turf, and each time they have found a way to win. Against Miami, New England should have lost. But the team stuck together and stuck it out.

I think they'll do the same against the Bears.

The wierd thing about this Super Bowl, though, is that neither team should win.

Heck, Chicago always chokes. From the Cubs and White Sox to the DePaul Blue Demons, the Windy City blows every major championship that comes within its reach.

Boston's history of collapsing is no less proud. The Sox and Pats fold often enough to make hardened cynics of 8-year-old fans.

But that's the great thing about Super Bowl XX. Two new teams, and one new winner.

Not the same old thing again.

Shish Ke-Bob's dad, an original Patriots' season ticket holder, was offered $800 for his two Super Bowl tickets. He refused.