Money for Nothing

At the end of last season, I was sitting pretty. Yale's victory in The Game cost me my .800 winning percentage, but I still pulled out a 35-9 campaign and a .795 winning percentage.

In my first year of predicting, I was the Cube champion. Money for nothing and chicks for free.

So maybe the financial rewards weren't so great and the groupies--as well as I can recall in the haze of post victory euphoria--weren't beating down my door, but my primary goal, beating Crimson sports boss Jeff Zucker was accomplished.

Miami Vice

The Pride of North Miami bumbled his way to a 22-22 year, an even .500. If I remember my probability correctly, that is just about as well as any other monkey might do given a series of binary choices.

Nine months later, the pressure to repeat is almost suffocating. Everybody gunning for the one-year wonderboy.

Zucker's back, talking trash as usual, and the new kid on the block--staff writer Bob Cunha--knows the local scene and could be the man to beat.

For my own part, since that wonderful November Saturday, I have suffered some serious changes in fortune. I encountered my first lynch mob, USA Today went up to 50 cents, and my three "locks" for divisional titles--the Tigers, Twins and Padres--are an aggregate 43 games out of first.

My initial big bet of the pro football season--giving two on the Redskins--bruised my ego as the Cowboys took a 44-7 thriller and KO'd my NOW account.

It's time to start making up for the past few months, so with memories of the glorious fall of '84 in mind, I plunge into my first Ancient Eight predictions, the 1985 edition.

PENN 31, CORNELL 6--The Big Red's Head Trainer is Bernie DePalma. He's going to have a busy day as the Quakers reenact his namesake Brian DePalma's film "Blow Out" on Franklin Field.

Penn and its amazing coach Jerry Berndt are gunning for their fourth straight title. Cornell lost more than half its Big Red lettermen from last year's squad, including nine defensive starters. With that in mind, it will be all Coach Maxie Baughan will be able to do to stop the hosts from staging their own, early version of the Penn Relays early this year.

Rub-a, Tub, Tub

DARTMOUTH 20, PRINCETON 10--Princeton has the best quarterback in the Ivy League, Doug Butler. Princeton has a new coach, Ron Rogerson. Rogerson learned football coaching under Delaware's famed Tubby Raymond. Like most guys named Tubby, Raymond eschews the aerial game and sticks to the ground with his Wing-T attack.

Which means when Rogerson unveils his new offense today, he will have his best player on the field but out of the game.

Dartmouth, on the other hand, is relying on a 5-ft., 10-in., 170-lb. quarterback to lead its experienced offensive. Is Brian Stretch an Ivy League Flutie? I don't think so. But the Big Green is way too strong for the Tigers.

YALE 14, BROWN 0--Solid Gold Pick Hit of the Week. The Yale defense will eat up Brown's inexperienced offensive line.

The Bruins have a solid defense but the Curtin-Moriarty connection should burn them for a long-gainer or two, which should be all the Bulldog defense will need.

HARVARD 38, COLUMBIA 17--The Crimson offense will run by, through, over and past the Powder Blue. Harvard says "Speed Kills." Maybe, maybe not--it's certainly more than enough to beat Columbia.

New Lion Coach Jim Garrett seems to be the Frank Kush of the Ivy League. He will realize by the end of the afternoon that highly motivated mediocre players aren good players. He's got a lot of yelling and browbeating to do if he wants to reverse a quarter century of incompetence.