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One Reason To Hate New Coke

Med School Research

By Jeff Clark

Surveys show American consumers think Coca-Cola Classic tastes better than New Coke--and Medical School researchers have discovered that Classic Coke is better than New Coke in another way.

As a spermicide.

Medical researchers at the Med School recently found that New Coke was 42 percent effective as a spermicide, while Old Coke was 91 percent effective--and Diet Coke got them all. The results were reported in the last issue of the New England Journal of Medicine.

The researchers concluded that the acidity of the soft drink had nothing to do with its sperm-bashing power. Dr. Joseph A. Hill, clinical instructor and research fellow, one of the three doctors who undertook the study, said Coke's spermicidal effect could be attributed to its secret formula.

Just For The Taste Of It?

"It's all hearsay," said Dr. Deborah J. Anderson, who worked on the study, "but we thought that in light of the present debate about New Coke vs. Old Coke we'd do a quick study just to see how they compared as spermicides."

However, Hill warned that Coke could not be used as an effective method of birth control because sperm move too quickly into the fallopian tubes. Hill and Anderson said they are not advocating the use of Coca-Cola as a contraceptive.

"The study was done in jest," said Hill.

Despite these cautions, Hill said that "they have been getting some flak," from Planned Parenthood, which was concerned that the public might get the wrong impression and think Coke could be used for birth control.

Hill added that the survey, which he called a "quick study," was financed "completely out-of-pocket."

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