No More Cakewalks for Gridders

Back in 1890, when football was a game of flying wedges and broken noses, Harvard bloodied the Big Red of Cornell in the initial meeting between the two teams, 77-0.

That victory marked the most lopsided victory the Crimson has ever recorded against a "major" opponent.

But the Cornell massacre was not the Crimson's biggest margin of victory. Not by a long shot.

Ninety-nine years ago the Crimson played a bunch of preppies from Exeter. Harvard humbled the eager kids, 158-0.

Ludicrous scores like that were not uncommon in the early years of the Harvard gridiron, when the Crimson used to routinely pad its record against much weaker opponents.

In fact, against football factories like Andover, Exeter, Bates, Bowdoin, MIT, Springfield, and Williams, the Crimson ran up a combined record of 114-0 between 1882 and 1952.

Against a much tougher trio of opponents--Amherst, Wesleyan, and the immortal Stevens Tech--the Crimson racked up a combined 45-2 slate.

Some of the scores were a little ridiculous. Harvard nipped Wesleyan, 124-0, in 1891, and the Crimson squeaked by Amherst, 102-zip, in 1888.

On the other hand, Harvard also used to beat some teams whose names have become synonomous with football power. The Crimson has alltime winning records against Penn State and Boston College; moreover, Harvard has undefeated slates against the likes of Texas, Florida, Georgia, UNC and Oregon, which Harvard beat in the 1920 Rose Bowl.

A lot has certainly changed since those early days of Harvard football, but one thing seems the same as it was in 1890. Harvard will beat the Big Red today.

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Last week's Walter Mondale ("We will win") Award for prediction inaccuracy goes to me, the only member of The Crimson Sports Cube who did not correctly predict every game last Saturday.

On the other end of the prognostication spectrum was the amazing Mildred Kiefer Wurf, Nick's devoted mother.

The Washington D.C. native--a sports fan and one terrific mom--last week predicted that William & Mary would beat Harvard 20-14. The final score was Tribe 21, Crimson 14.

Mrs. Wurf's prediction on the Harvard game was closer than that of either Crimson Presidente Jeff Zucker or Mildred's near-genius son, Nick.

This week, I'm gunning for the kind of prediction wizardry that has made Mrs. Wurf, and her first-born son Nick, legends.

Anyway, the predictions:

HARVARD 6, CORNELL 0: The Crimson hasn't won on artificial turf in four years. And the eight-hour bus ride won't help, either. So it won't be 77-0, but it'll still be a shutout.

PENN 21, BROWN 14: The only real advantage for Penn is the home-field turf of Franklin Field. That will be enough.

PRINCETON 20, COLUMBIA 2: If the Lions win in my lifetime, I will be very surprised.

COLGATE 28, DARTMOUTH 10: I know almost nothing about either of these teams, but Colgate sounds better.

HOLY CROSS 33, YALE 17: This may be the only time all season I can predict a Bulldog loss and be right, so I'll take advantage of the opportunity.