Hello, Mrs. Robinson

"When you talk about this later--and you will please be kind." from Tea and Sympathy, 1953

HAD ROBERT ANDERSON written Tea and Sympathy 30 years later, this pre seduction utterance by the housemaster's wife to her school boy lover would probably have gone something like this.

"When you talk about this later--and you will please be sure to contact my publicity agent....." The Newsstand and the Tube--the two most reliable means of American pop culture--have been conveying a revolutionary message lately about "older" women (females traditionally viewed as less than desirable, i e., those aged 30 and upwards).

In many cases the women themselves have trumpeted the message that older is better, or at least just as good: Olivia Newton-John, gracing a People cover proclaiming her relationship with a younger man; actress Leslie Ann Warren chatting with Tonight Show hostess Joan Rivers about her junior-aged beau; TV star Joan Collins posing nude for Playboy, followed in this month's issue by ex-Congressional wife Jenrette and former "Raging Bull" spouse Vicki LaMotta. Most notably, TV's highest rated soaps Dallas and Dynasty, both feature steamy liaisons between mature women and nubile males.

The women's movement and the demographic bulge are the most obvious reasons behind what appears to be a media craze for sexy, older women. It is impossible to gauge exactly to what degree viewer appetite is being served, as opposed to how much is being created, but the sudden torrent of praise for older women brings to mind a statement by the late Flannery O'Connor. "To the hard of hearing, you shout and for the almost blind you draw large and startling figures."

The extensive and gaudy layout featuring 50 year-old Collins in Playboy several months ago was startling indeed, and was meant to open readers' ears as well as eyes. Said Collins "I've always been pretty. I'm prettier now than when I was twenty. So what if I have a few lines. What the hell."

A cynic might view this recent phenomenon as a propaganda ploy by members of the self-important Baby Boom generation. They were the coolest generation while they were under 30, and they intend to remain the coolest now that they are approaching middle age.

Who knows. But should older woman/younger man relationships leave their faddish status and enter into mainstream respectability, the social impact would be enormous: The institutions of marriage and the family would have to be restructured; standards for both feminine and masculine attractiveness would be broadened; and the pool of available men would remain (theoretically) constant for aging women instead of shrinking, as it does under conventional circumstances.

Aging females would not have to dread the type of social isolation expressed by a middle-aged woman in a 1970s feminist anthology, who wrote that although men of varying ages privately found her attractive, they never asked her out on formal dates because, by her guess, she could not provide them with the social prestige offered by a 20-year-old.

Which raises the question of what will motivate men to pair up with older women. There will be those who do so out of a sincere appreciation of the special wisdom and grace that a well-matured woman possesses. These true souls will probably be counterbalanced, however, by men seeking Sugar Mommies and by those who view older women just as one-dimensionally (i.e., solely as sex objects) as they view their girlish counterparts.

This is because the current media preoccupation with older female sexuality is unfortunately geared towards an only partially enlightened audience. American men have caught on to almost every aspect of the feminist dialectic, except for the one closest to home, namely sex. By now many of them would probably welcome equality in the workplace and even the drawing room. But I suspect most would still find it difficult to accept a strikingly sexy female (young or old) as an autonomous and entirely respectworthy being.

Joan Collins--a woman who clearly enjoys taking charge, both on-screen and off--had the right idea when she posed for Playboy--to show the American public that a 50-year-old woman can and should be as sexually desirable as a girl.

But because Collins, and others like herself, have been speaking an advanced language to a semi-aware audience, their message will probably be misinterpreted to mean that the women should join the girls in becoming sexual toys only. The kind of alert, un-passive, and even authoritative sexuality which Collins advocates for women of all ages will most likely have to wait generations for a male audience that is neither hard of hearing nor almost blind.