At Home, At School Children in the Houses

"Sometimes at night, people have parties across the Quad and they go on till 4 a.m. in the morning, and that's the worst part of it," remarks one College resident.

But the noise is becoming a familiar feature of life for this Quad dweller, who has been putting up with it for nearly half his life. Jonathan Flick lives in South House. He is 11 years old.

Jonathan and his two-and-a-half-year-old and 14-month-old brothers are three of the nearly 40 House residents who are nowhere near college age. The children of Masters, senior and resident tutors, they live in every House but Dunster, and undergraduates are almost unanimous in their praise of the youngsters presence.

For the children and their parents, life is not always idyllic, but they agree that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

"There are lots of positive influences," says Hugh M. Flick Jr., resident tutor in South House and father of Jonathan, David and Shaw Flick. "They get a lot of contact with people who are interested in a wide variety of things," he explains.

Jonathan, a sturdy sixth-grader who attends the Esterbrook School in Lexington, says that life at the Quad is "basically the same" as it was before the Flicks moved on campus five years ago. He admits a weakness for the Food Services Chinese dinner and mentions the facilities at the Quad as an attractive fringe benefit.

"I like it--it isn't as public and there aren't as many people around" as there are at the River, he continues. His brothers, Jonathan adds, enjoy House life even more than he does. "They get more attention and there's always someone to play with," he explains.

This is generally true for Harvard's under-five set. Parents, children and students agree that for younger residents, almost all of the effects of House life are good ones. In fact, most tutors and Masters say there are few differences between life in a big apartment building and life at Harvard for someone that young.

"It's a wonderful environment; the kids give him enormous amounts of attention," says Lowell Senior Tutor Christopher M. Jedrey--father of Nathaniel, who is almost three and has never lived outside the House. As in the other Houses, the main point of contact between students and child is the dining hall, which Jedrey and other parents point out is a mixed blessing. Jedrey notes, for example, that the regular conversation with older people has built up his son's vocabulary. Parents add, however, that around the age of two, some children go through a period in which they perform for the dining hall.

Other difficulties arise from the design of Harvard housing, which is generally not suited to children's needs. "You give up living in any normal sort of way," says Arthur Demarest, a resident tutor in Anthropology living in the Leverett towers with his wife Mary and Andrew, who is almost one. "We spent a lot of time in the emergency room when he first started walking," Mary Demarest adds, recalling Andrew's collisions with Leverett Towers concrete walls.

Their suite is now virtually paneled in styrofoam, giving it the look of a high-rise ig100, but "there's just about no way he can hurt himself," says Arthur Demarest.

For slightly older children, students are not just baby sitters but also friends. For four-year-old Kathryn Dingman, the Leverett House dining hall is appealing not just because of the chicken and desserts, her favorite foods, but "because most of the kids are there."

"The undergraduates have been very, very generous in making our family feel at home," adds Leverett Senior Tutor Thomas A. Dingman '67, father of Kathryn and fifteen-month-old Alexandra. "It's like having a big, big family around." says Nancy Dingman.

Never having lived anywhere else. Kathryn may not be in a position to say, but House-mate Jessica Dowling agrees and she's lived in Harvard housing for eight of the past nine years. "This is one of my favorite Houses," says the seventh-garder, a former resident of both Mather and North Houses.

Jessica also knows what she's missing, because she occasionally visits her father and stepmother in Rhode Island. "It's totally different from the way it is here--I think I like it better here," says the poised, attractive 12-year-old.

"I have something a little better than my friends," Jessica continues. "They like to come over." She also has friends in the House: "A lot of [students] have become really good friends of mine--most of the kids are very nice."

The major drawback of the situation, for Jessica and three-year-old Alexandra, is that the Masters Dowling are very involved in House activities. Asked what advice she would give a friend entering a similar situation. Jessica replies. "I'd say, I think you're going to have fun, but you've got to be ready for your parents to be really busy."

Their absences effect on Jessica and Alexandra has also been a cause of concern for their parents. John E. Dowling '57, who is also an associate dean of the Faculty and professors of Biology, says he has encouraged Jessica to attend football games and other Harvard events to help counter the problem. Last year, he adds, the family had season tickets for pro hockey for the first time, and used the games as "family time."

Like some other parents, Dowling says that students overwhelming acceptance of their children has surprised them.

"I thought that the undergraduates would be annoyed a bit" by the children, he recalls, "but the students very much welcomed the little ones in the House."

When Alexandra was a few months old and they were living in North House, he remembers, a students saw Jessica wheeling the baby in the courtyard and pinned a note to her, offering to baby sit. "She turned out to be not just a babysitter but a good friend," he says.

The younger Dowlings typify a split in attitude toward House life that runs along age lines. "The little ones have a hall they love it in the dining hall and they get an enormous amount of attention." Dowling says. Older children, parents agree experience some confusion as they grow closer to college age and students become more like peers and less like authority figures.

And Dowling recalls a situation two years ago, in which a resident tutor's 13-year-old daughter was made uncomfrotable by a student in the House who become attached to her and followed her around.

"This is a problem I think as the girls get a little bit older," he adds, but says he hopes it will not become an issue again. He would like to have Jessica attend and area high school, he says, and boarding school "is something that we certainly aren't enthusiastic about."

Neither, apparently, are the Kielys, Masters of Adams House Christina, a 14-year-old, and six-year-old Mimi both attend local public schools.

As for other House residents, "they're friends," Mimi remarks, and Christina says that when she was younger. "I made lots of friends with students." She doesn't seem to enjoy it as much now, and says that she wants to attend another college.

"I'd like to see somewhere else in America," she explains, adding that she's been around the world with her parents--last year to China and France--on leaves of absence and vacations.

Neither Christina nor Mimi seems to find her way of life especially radical: others in the same position agree.

Hilary Liller, who lived in Adams House from 1968 to 1974, from when she was two until eight, remembers, "I enjoyed it for the most part." Now a senior in high school, she finds Harvard "just too big" and has applied to smaller colleges, and says that the experience had no profound effects on her or her older brother.

At that time, however, children were less involved with students than they are today. Until 1970, for example, women were only allowed to eat in the dining halls twice a week, so the children ate at home, says mother Martha H. Liller, an astronomer with the Harvard College Observatory.

The children living in the Houses now, from Jonathan Flick in sweats, with his keys on a string around his neck, looking like any other student playing on the Quad, to Jessica Dowling in purple tights and a denim skirt, seem more mature than other children their age. The younger ones are unusually chatty, but without exception, the children their age. The younger ones are unusually chatty, but without exception, the children come across as very bright and self-sufficient.

Kristine A. Anastasio '85 says, "I think it's great--this is such an isolated environment and it's good to have people with real families living with us."

"They add a certain element of liveliness," adds Alan B. Langerman '85, explaining. "College students are boring--they talk, they tap on glasses. Little kids come running into the dining hall and they're exciting and fun to watch."

Not everyone is this enthusiastic, but it is hard to find a student who admits actively disliking younger neighbors. "I'm indifferent to it," says Robert Brown '85. "The only difficulty I see," he adds, "is that I almost ran into one once--I have trouble looking that low."