"But I'm Not Gay...

The members of Gays Organized in Opposition to Discrimination (GOOD) have been working to reach out to the entire Harvard and Radcliffe community, to demonstrate that anti-gay bigotry hurts everyone. We've made announcements in the houses, and have been jeered. We've tacked up posters, but they have been torn down and mutiliated.

Why do we want to reach you, anyway?

Our problem is that of overcoming a tremendous fear. Gay people--your friends--are made to fear that they are sick, or sinful. They fear losing their jobs if they are found out. They fear that they must be lonely, unhappy and abused. They fear that they will be rejected by those who are closest to them.

Most gay people used to share these beliefs, and consequently understand others' fears: the fear of child molestation, sadomasochism, and hellfire; the fear of being considered "deviant" by others, and the anxiety provoked by wondering about oneself; the fear of "what they do in bed"; that pervasive discomfort on the part of most "straight" people that comes from the knowledge that, despite a desire to be open-minded, they still feel awkward around gay people.

And the most disheartening thing is that they have no choice but to be afraid. In contemporary America it is virtually impossible to learn anything positive about gay people. Television and movies like "Windows" and "Cruising" inform us that gay people are pathetic, or savage, or both. To the Federal government and the majority of states, homosexual acts are an "abomination". To parents and friends homosexuality is an accusation, never a reality. It is the lowest of insults, a shadowy rumor which must not stain us at any cost. But proving heteroxexuality takes hard work. After all, you never know...

Yet despite the commonness of accusations that others are gay, most people are extremely reluctant to believe it about anyone they know. Even those who are open about being gay are often bemused by the willingness of their acquaintances to give them the "benefit of the doubt." "After all, you don't seem like the type."

The fact is that most lesbians and gay men are not "the type." Unfortunately, the prevalence of such negative images make it extremely difficult for gay people to arrive at a positive self concept.

I now have a strong sense of gay pride (i.e. self-respect). For me, being gay is joyful, adventurous, honest, emotional, and--yes Anita--natural. But I can never forget how I used to feel. Every day I see the hatred which so many gay students feel for themselves, and every day I encounter the indifference and hostility which allows this hatred to flourish.

We of GOOD are trying to present everyone with an opportunity to learn the truth about gay people from gay people. We are merely asking that everybody listen. And if anyone feels uncomfortable, embarrassed or hostile about attending a workshop or film, it's to be expected: at the moment people are given little other choice. But everyone does have the choice to overcome this awkwardness. They have the choice to realize that fear of (the label of) homosexuality stifles us all every day. It affects whether we wear boots or clogs, how we dance, and whom we dance with. It affected how we said good-bye to our best friends before leaving for college, and how we greeted our school friends after returning from Spring Break. And it affects whether we'll attend Gay and Lesbian Awareness day, and whether we'll bring our roommates with us.

But perhaps most importantly and most directly, fear of homosexuality is dividing you from your friends and family. The common estimate is that one out of ten Americans is gay; whether you like it or not, someone whom you care about is gay, and the chances are that you don't know it. And the reason that you don't know it is that they're afraid to tell you. Until your friend/sister/roommate/uncle feels more comfortable with you and with him or herself, he or she will remain silent and fearful. There will exist a powerful barrier between you as long as (s)he believes that you might despise the person (s)he really is. Only when the majority realizes that homophobia is destructive to their own lives can the situation improve for everyone. As long as straight people remain voluntarily unaware, the mass of gay people will have no choice but to continue to live the pain of being invisible and undetectable, even to themselves.

Benjamin H. Schatz, co-chairman and founder of GOOD, is a junior concentrating in sociology.