Nice Try
What can you say about a restaurant that hires a woman in a long evening dress to sit with her back to the crowd and play Judy Collins on the harp? The Cafe Promenade is trying hard to be classy, but hasn't exactly pulled it off.
Square in the middle of the dining room is a neon-lit glass refrigerator in which desserts whirl around and around. The wallpaper looks like a hybrid of 14th century French tapestry and Peter Max. And the 50 foot long expanse of picture window glass on one edge of the dining room looks out on a Huntington Avenue cab stand.
The same muffed attempts at high-falutin' crop up in the cooking. Cafe Promenade probably has the only menu in the world that boasts both Osso Bucco "Milannaise" and Tunapuff Sandwich. And while the prices are extravagant, the food is only mediocre.
The New England clam chowder ($1.75) is a serving so small it's hardly worth calling it a bowl. The chowder consisted of pasty lukewarm stock with a few chunks of clam miserably clinging to the bottom. There weren't even many potatoes.
The shrimp cocktail ($4.50) was better. Five medium-sized shrimp sitting atop a layer of fairly crisp lettuce served with a peppery sauce.
For dinner, the baked stuffed mushrooms ($6.25) looked more appetizing on the menu than on the plate. Stuffed with a doughy mix of fried seafood, the mushrooms were served almost cold and undercooked.
Furthermore, the portion was discouragingly small. The dish's one saving grace was an interesting crunchy bed of wild rice, chestnuts, raisins and almonds.
The brochette of scallops ($7) was equally disappointing. The scallops again were lukewarm and tough and while it is hard to rob a scallop of its basic good taste, the Promenade chef did nothing to complement it. The mound of rice that accompanied the scallops was equally dry.
Next to the entrees, most anything would have tasted pretty good. Such was the case with the succulent side dish of baby carrots lightly cooked in butter and tender cauliflower.
The meal supposedly came with bread and butter, except that the waiter forgot the butter with one of the rolls, and the melted butter accompanying the other was cleverly packaged in a piece of golden tinfoil, making it a greasy chore to unwrap. Don't however, fill up on dry bread; you'll want to save at least a little room for dessert, just so you can order things out of the spinning Frididaire.
The "rich assortment of fine European pastries and pies" ($1.75)--our night it included strawberry shortcake--just didn't make it either. Due to a combination of freezing and the wind chill factor from the perpetual spinning, most of the desserts arrived at the table ice cold--consider ordering them with your dinner to give them time to thaw.
The chocolate cake was good after it warmed up--creamy frosting and fresh cake. And the strawberry cheesecake was lemony and a bit crumbly, but basically fine except for a mysterious layer of sponge cake
The Cafe Promenade has a large selection of casseroles and cold and hot sandwiches--most of them in the $5-$7 range. The wine list is complete, but full bottles run from $7 to $30 and half-bottles are available only in a few instances. Carafes of house wine go for $6 half carafes are $3.50.
If you are looking for a really ritzy night on the town, or even a good dinner, steer clear of the Promenade. On the other hand, if you've always wondered what "Both Sides Now" sounds like on the harp, by all means pay it a visit.