Ennui and Expectations

I know I won't get a whole lot of sympathy from those of you who have to take Ec 10 today, but I'm finished. I've been finished since Thursday. And I'm bored.

As an off-season coxswain, I can't afford the calories in a Scorpion Bowl from the Kong, so in the past week I've read six trashy novels. I've watched countless hours of sitcom reruns on the tube. And I've played so much pinball I need a charge account for "Lost World" at Tommy's Yesterday I was so bored I even read a book for my thesis, and it's not due 'til March 22.

Nobody wants to play with me. My roommates have exams and don't appreciate my dribbling drills. I don't own cross-country skis, and there's no snow anyway. The Lowell House superintendent says I'm such a bad squash player I should not get court time. And E. Sid says he's tired of losing free-throw shooting contests to a girl.

So while all the Harvard sports teams take the All-Star break to let their best students square off with "Boats" and "Ports for Sports," there's not a lot for a non-student non-athlete to do these days. And I'm telling you, the most action at the IAB these days is at 3 a.m. when the mopmen take the floor.

I think they call this senior slump, but I wish it hadn't spread to Harvard sports. With all this time for reflection. it's really depressing to think of what's going to happen when the Harvard teams open their second seasons next week. I've considered changing schools, but because of Harvard's messed-up academic schedule, it's even too late for me to transfer to B.U., where the Terriers' perennial powerhouse hockey squad has been joined by a thoroughly respectable basketball team. They tell me to "make the best of it," so I guess that means I'm stuck. So I guess I'll look at the silver lining. Here's my list of the bright spots on the Harvard sports scene:

The hoopsters, who were almost looking like a real team when the season opened, are now 3-14, and I wouldn't guarantee you that they'll win another game this year. But it's better than two years ago when the Leverett "A" team sported a roster of disillusioned players who could have challenged Satch Sanders' varsity.

The once-proud Harvard pucksters are 3-8 in the ECAC. When I was in high school, I thrived on the Globe's coverage of Petro and the magnificent Crimson, but since I checked into Mem Hall freshman year, the squad hasn't even made the ECAC playoffs, and this year sure won't be any different. But at least next year's freshmen won't expect as much as I did.

The hockey and basketball teams, despite the influx of talented freshmen, seem destined to join their football and soccer counterparts in the annals of lousy sports seasons at Harvard. But maybe we can build a dynasty on the fine performances of the Eastern champion ping-pong team.

Harvard wrestling has always been mediocre, so you have to admire the consistency of the matmen.

The men's swimmers remain undefeated, even though they haven't faced Princeton yet, and no one has drowned in Blodgett.

The nascent women's ice hockey team has come a long way from its 17-0 drubbing at the hands of Providence College, and the 4-4 women now have a better record than their male counterparts.

Looking ahead, the freshmen in the infield are now juniors, beloved coach Loyal Park is gone, and the batsmen might make the NCAA World Series if super hurler Larry Brown doesn't have to take a Gov 40 exam before the first game.

The loss of Steve Martin--the attackman, not the comedian--will hurt the lacrosse team, but returning vets plus new recruits should give Harvard its best team in years.

Animal House will be at the Harvard Square Theater twice in the next two months.

The Harvard heavyweight crew almost never loses, so why should coach Harry Parker allow this year to be any different? And since the EAWRC Sprints were cancelled last year. Peter Huntsman's Radcliffe lightweights are still the defending champs, and heavyweight coach Carie Graves preserves a 2-2 record in interscholastic competition.

This is one of the few weeks when The Crimson carries no news of Harvard defeats.

With so much to be thankful for, I feel like a real ingrate when I complain, because as I learned for my Hum 45 exam last week, all is for the best in this, the best of all possible worlds. Just ask Billy Cleary if you don't believe me--maybe he'll let you quote him.