Tuned-Up Tuna Hits Town

So you're new in town, huh? And you want to fit in? Understandable. And you say already know reading period is for doing your course reading and the school term is for extracurriculars? Good, you're way ahead of the dorks on your hall, even if they got higher SAT's than you did. Don't sweat it--after all, you were just put here because no one else admitted on their application to...well, I won't embarrass you, let's just chalk it up to diversity. OK?

Before I go to the actual concert listings, let me fill you in on what has been happening in the music world over the summer, or as we in the biz say, what has been happening, like you know, in the music, diggit, world over the summer, man. The Cars merged with the Doors to produce the Windows. Bet you thought I was going to say the Car Doors, didn't you? Too obvious. Hot Tuna got together with Canned Heat, but the marriage didn't take so they divided up the musicians and formed two new groups, Canned Tuna and Hot Heat.

I was having lunch the other day with John Travolta, a close personal friend, when Shaun Cassidy came by and said "To do run run run. To do run run." I was surprised to see Shaun in Quincy House since he usually hangs out at Currier, but I guess he heard through the grapevine that John was in town, so he dropped in. Rock Stars, many of whom are close personal friends of mine, are like that, kind of wild and crazy guys, as a good friend of mine likes to say. We were eating Meatloaf.

The Boston rock scene is unusually strong at the moment--not that it is normally weak, but there seems to be a motherlode of top groups in town this fall. On Saturday night Billy Joel will be at the Boston Garden. I don't know how you feel about people from Long Island, but to me this is one man not to be missed. The show starts at 8.p.m., tickets are $8.50 to $10.50, at the box office, Out-of Town News, Strawberries and Ticketron. Don't bother to dress up, he likes you just the way you are.

Friday (no one ever accused me of being chronological) boasts the O'Jays at the Hynes Auditorium at 8, with tickets running from $8.50 in advance to $9.50 at the gate. Sources say the group is not related to O. J. Simpson, although members of the band have been known to run madly through airports and leap over startled redcaps.

Neil Young will be in Boston Garden on Wednesday the 4th at 8.p.m., and rumor has it that a crazy horse will be with him. Tickets are $7.50 to $10.50. But be forewarned: he may just leave you helpless, helpless, he-elpless.

And if you're the self-flagellatory type, you just missed Springsteen, the Electric Light Orchestra. Blue Oyster Cult, Bob Seger and The Atlantics. If you are depressive-suicidal, I was just kidding. They were never in town.

You might also check out the local action. Jonathan Swifts features the Zaitchik Brothers and Van Manakas Group this weekend, the Oxford Ale House has Second Wind, Jacks' has the Fat City Blues Band, and my roommate has the Big D (all you travellers out there, explain that one to the non-travellers.).

I personally have never heard any of these groups play, but I get paid under the table to push them. Ha ha ha, just kidding. No, really, I was. I do this for free, out of love for my fellow students, and because if I went to a shrink he would charge me $50 an hour to listen to me while you do it free. Thank you. Non sequitur   Eric B. Fried