The Name's The Game

[With apologies to the 1977-78 Harvard Basketball squad and the Big Guy upstairs.]

He madeth the arduous journey from the holy land they calleth Notre Dame with much fanfare. He traveled to the Houses, and spoketh great words about the future, attracting believers who followed Him up the steep pilgrimmage to the ancient roundball mecca in Cambridge.

The edifice overflowed with the sweating faithful who rocked the building with chants for defense and cheers at the mention of His name on that first night. But He lost that battle valiantly to the visitors from the western part of the State. "Do not despair, you masses," He proclaimed. "Frankly, we can't stand now, it's not quite our time. Yet, we bleedeth Crimson; we are the chosen people who have made it past that new haven and seek our own destiny. Oh, let my people win!"

The multitude returned again to see if He could subdue the vicious Tigers and Lions, but they destroyed His Bengel, of which there was said to be just one more (a real Classic). But He knew that His faith in His closest disciples, those who He brewed together and allowed to walk on the holy wood, would one day be rewarded.

So the ones with the letter 'H' branded on their breasts no longer quaked behind the Ivy vines, slaying the cocky Goliath. They had done it without the use of Iron, for He had penned the virus of knowledge through books. Now all was Rosy. The people cheered, their spines tingling as they bowed at the witnessing of this sabbath eve miracle. PLAYER  G  FG-FGA  REB.  PTS.  AVG. B. BANKS  21  125-221  169  327  15.6 B. HOOFT  26  131-268  132  328  12.6 C. BOOKER  26  105-217  114  264  10.2 G. FINE  26  90-184  60  240  9.2 B. ALLEN  25  71-139  76  179  7.2 R. COX  20  43-101  55  123  6.2 R. BENGEL  18  49-118  27  104  5.8 G. ACKERMAN  26  48- 90  78  133  5.1 M. STENHOUSE    44-105  28  99  4.1 M. HADLEY  19  22- 52  31  61  3.2 T. CAREY  8  8- 15  3  16  2.0 C. BAKER  8  6- 15  8  13  1.7 F. KONSTANTYNOWICZ  16  9- 23  10  25  1.6 D. McINTOSH  7  3- 8  4  11  1.6 B. AULET  6  2- 6  3  4  0.7       TEAM: 115 HARVARD TOTALS    756-1562  913  1927  74.1 OPPOSITION TOTALS    799-1611  979  2021  77.7

But He knew it would happen, and when the clamor had died down, He proclaimed, "We have arrived. Come, reach out and join me in my pilgrimmage. All lend a hand."

They followed Him, hacking their way to the Banks of the mighty river that divideth the land. He pointed to the other side, there they might buy lodging near the exquisite pools. "There, my friends, there stands the promised land," He said.

"But how do we get there, the river stands between us," said a young skeptic named Sam. "What can we do?" But He was not worried, for He had already crossed the Glen and was still Fine. He knew, as he sat on his mule, its front Hoofs dug in water, that He still had leeway. So He turned around and spoke to the swelling number of friends who had gathered for phase two of the miracle.

"Go back to those ten Houses by the River," he motioned. "Do not be derelict in your duties." And He sent the Baker first, for He knew that to reach those greener pastures would take a lot of bread.

But He knew it would happen, and when the clamor had died down, He proclaimed, "We have arrived. Come, reach out and join me in my pilgrimmage. All lend a hand."

They followed Him, hacking their way to the Banks of the mighty river that divideth the land. He pointed to the other side, there they might buy lodging near the exquisite pools. "There, my friends, there stands the promised land," He said.

"But how do we get there, the river stands between us," said a young skeptic named Sam. "What can we do?" But He was not worried, for He had already crossed the Glen and was still Fine. He knew, as he sat on his mule, its front Hoofs dug in water, that He still had leeway. So He turned around and spoke to the swelling number of friends who had gathered for phase two of the miracle.

"Go back to those ten Houses by the River," he motioned. "Do not be derelict in your duties." And He sent the Baker first, for He knew that to reach those greener pastures would take a lot of bread.