Swingin' in the South

A procession of the high priests of collegiate golf filed into Houston over the weekend for the first annual Bluebonnet Bowl Golf Invitational. Making the Christmas pilgrimmage were Harvard co-captains Spence Fitzgibbons and Jim Dales, who were outshone by the heavenly host of big name golfers from powers like Houston, Texas Tech, and New Mexico State.

Fitzgibbons and Dales arrived at the Houston resort mecca of April Sound, replete with golf course, artificial lake and serried rows of condominiums, last Friday. The Crimson tandem was invited to the event, along with 24 other entries, including teams from Yale and Princeton, by Rice University, the tournament's host.

Unfortunately, the paradisical setting of April Sound was marred by a demonic cold front sweeping the southwest. "On Friday during the sponsors' tournament the chill factor was seven degrees so we only played four holes," Ftizgibbons recounts in a taut voice. "We never got to practice."

So on Saturday morning, the first round of the two-day event, the intrepid duo teed it up with almost nary a practice swing in seven weeks. Fitzgibbons, however, had devised a dubious strategy to compensate for the creaky swings of the Harvard twosome.

Fitzgibbons says, "I figured we were going to get hammered in this tournament so I memorized Physics I formulas and Baron's SAT word lists so I could horrify the opposition with susquepedalian phraseology. We were going to make them start whiffing over their inferior IQs."

This convoluted strategem proved difficult to implement. "It kind of backfired" says Spence, "because the first day we played with guys from Rice, who weren't totally lobatomized and besides, they weren't doing much better than us."

The second round of the tournament on Sunday also failed to provide an opportunity for pendantil scholastism Fitzgibbons remarked, "We played with Houston Baptist and these guys really were lobatomized. They were so wacked out that there was nothing I could do to bring them down to my poor level of play." The unseemly Houston Baptist pair even went so far as to produce a Playboy calendar out of their golf bag on the eighth tee, claiming it would inspire them to play better.

Nevertheless, the Crimson linksters played commendable golf through most of the 36-hole best ball event when the cold weather, soggy fairways and overgrown greens are taken into account. On Saturday they carded a 77, which is seven over par on the April Sound layout. On Sunday they went around in 78.

Dales, one of those rare breed of natural golfers who can grab a club out of the woodshed and start to play flawless golf, caught his drive absolutely flush on the first tee. On the other hand, Fitzgibbons, who is a slow starter, hit a tee shot that followed the trajectory of a partridge stricken in mid-flight by the hunter's shaft.

With Fitzgibbons out of the hole, Dales had to settle for a double-bogey when his second shot landed on a patch of ice in a green-side sand trap. The rest of the way, though, Dales played unimpeachable golf.

"Jimmy hit the ball incredibly well but he putted like an idiot," noted his partner, adding, "I really had to lean on him the first day."

Fitzgibbons began to lubricate his swing by the second nine, which he started off with four straight pars. Then, on the par-five, 515-yd. 17th, he made a scrambling bogey after driving into the trees. He stung a three-iron under some overhanging branches, smashed a three-wood onto the apron, and two-putted from 60 feet. Dales finished with a tidy par on 18 to give the team a one-over 36 for the back nine after a 41 for the front side.

That night the captains stayed with the University of Miami team at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Bob McClelland, the owners of a plush April Sound condominium. Spence returned the Texan hospitality by performing a series of bawdy Harvard fight songs assisted by the megaphone and pom-poms belong to the McClelland daughters, who are high school cheerleaders.

Dales and Fitzgibbons also chatted for awhile with Dave Marr, the director of golf at April Sound and a leading professional golfer before he became commentator on ABC-TV. Marr noted that he had once attended a class at Harvard. Fitzgibbons casually replied, "I once went to a class, too."

On the second day of play, Fitzgibbons began to hit pinpoint irons but Dales slipped off his pace of the previous round. Dales says, "I just didn't have much of a short game. Spence played really well at the beginning but we didn't have anything to show for it so we kind of fell apart."

Playing the back nine first this time, Fitzgibbons plugged his wedges smack on the flagstick. Yet he continued to spray his drives while Dales started with six, four, six, four, six, four.

Once again the dogleg first hole extracted a costly double bogey. Dales needed six shots when he bunkered his drive. Fitzgibbons was out of it when his tee shot made a beeline for south of the Rio Grande.

A Lamar College pairing of Bill Israelson and Mike Michalka, who fired rounds of 67 and 66, won the tournament. The Harvard duo finished in utter oblivion.

Still, Dales and Fitzgibbons did get a glimpse at the world of big-time collegiate golf. Now they can put their clubs back in the closet and with a melancholy backward glance await the spring.