The Reckoning Hourly

I see by the old ballpoint pen mark on the reading list that it's hourly season once again, that time of year when summer vacation officially ends and the reserve desk at Lamont looks like a rugby scrum.

Though I justified my academic life away long ago, nevertheless, the boys down at University Hall dropped off some short essay questions for me to tackle in Harvard's most difficult course, "Objective and Insightful Comprehension of Harvard Athletics."

Directions: You have two 15-minute halves and three time-outs to answer two of the following three questions.

Question #1: How would you, in your own words, assess the current situation in the Ivy League football standings, and what bothers you most about Harvard's football season to date? [Note: Any reference to motion penalties or quotes from Pat Daly will be marked off.]

Nobody can quite deal with the standings in the Ivy League at the moment, especially the residents of New Haven and Cambridge. If Brown beats Harvard this weekend the Bruins will have a 4-1 record and be the odds-on favorites for the title. However, things are never that simple in the Ivies. So look for some upsets and a sleezy back-door championship by Dartmouth, if for no other reason than a chance to let Ernie Roberts write articles on Joe Yuckica from not till the Stanley Cup.

As for the Crimson, its football following is constantly looking for easy, quick answers to a tough and perplexing season. Critics and comrades alike seem too eager to point accusing fingers at quarterback Larry Brown for the relative success and failure of this year's squad. That's wrong, if for no other reason than it drastically overlooks the injuries of Wayne Moore and Craig Beling, as well as the inspiring play of Ralph Polillio, Rich Horner, Matt Granger, Marco Coric and Bob Woolway. Tack on eight points in the two losses and shelve the remedial officiating in the Cornell and Princeton games, and you've got an undefeated football team.

Question #2: What's the matter with the varsity soccer team this fall, which talent-wise is vastly improved over last year's squad that went 3-3-1 in the Ivies?

All the supplementary reading in the world couldn't help me answer this question.

Question #3: Will the Harvard hockey team's move to Walter Brown Arena this winter cause any problems for the team or its fans?

This is an issue which has been overplayed. While it is depressing that Section 18 has been put in drydock, Walter Brown Arena is a vastly superior, vastly warmer place to watch a hockey game. Any hockey game. Cleary's teams have always played some of their best hockey in this facility, so the change of address might do them some good after missing the ECAC playoffs the last two seasons.

As for "home ice advantage," Watson Rink has been an eerie exception of late. One hockey player said last year that "playing at Watson is like playing on neutral ice," and he wasn't too far off.

Attendance shouldn't suffer because of the shift either. The same alumni and zamboni-crazed aficionados attend every home game. It should be no different on Commonwealth Ave., especially since transportation accommodations will be provided by 60 Boylston St. (better known as "Bertagna Bus Lines.").

Bonus Question: Comment on this statement: "I think Ed King would make a fine governor."--Carl Yastrzemski.

I agree. And while we're at it, how about Jack O'Callahan and Loyal Park for School Committee?